Author deanna

Last November Days of Free

There’s something immense & dreadful about the time coming up…not for me, exactly. I have done all the things I can to insulate myself from the torture of seeing my precious America get pulled down into the depths of despair…. Continue Reading →

It’s Thanksgiving & I am still ALIVE & 48 YEARS OLD

I know, right? How THE FUCK DO I KEEP GETTING TO SURVIVE when so few fucking people give a fuck if I live and breathe every day? Because it’s not about other people and what they want for me, but… Continue Reading →

My Uncomfortable Math Again

My brain is fried, no really, it is. I mean, I definitely have smoked insane amounts of weed in my life but truly that’s not the issue. Is it the enecphalomalacia or something else? Maybe it’s everything, maybe it’s just… Continue Reading →

I AM IMMORTAL/Draft 1 Originally written before the election….

I’m kidding of course but I am very much alive. Guess what has happened since then? You guessed it, another open heart surgery. Actually. I had my stent (TEVAR) re-lined in that time as well. I keep getting to survive… Continue Reading →

Oof. Everything fell apart while I was away

Wow, everyone. My country full fucked this one up. In ways I really cannot even being to discuss in full but I am gonna try. There is something wrong with a public that is so reliant on greed & money… Continue Reading →

We’re all a little closer to dying every day

I guess the thing I’ve accepted these days is that I am probably a lot closer to the end than some extended fantasy timeline where I get a house or some Italian villa before Italy gets creamed by a volcano… Continue Reading →

UGH. I hate you but I want to love you

I have so much to do to fix this place, excuse its appearance -it resided at heartsandscars for so long, but I had to make some changes. There are so many people with heart problems I plan to use it… Continue Reading →

what do you do when the world is on fire

Fuck if I know. Honestly I have lived through some shit. Clearly my medical issues are not the norm, even for people with my gene defect they are a little outside the norm. But I haven’t lived the normal life…. Continue Reading →

I have been on video, if you didn’t know…

Of course I am still alive. Of course I never got COVID. I know, there’s probably a few surprised at that and yeah, I am waiting for my luck to run out, but for now my husband is in a… Continue Reading →

I’m telling you, yoga before open heart surgery

Hey so I don’t care if your surgery is in a month, two months, two weeks–my advice is to try that link to the practice I recommended the other day. I had no idea how hunched I really am–of course… Continue Reading →

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