I know, right? How THE FUCK DO I KEEP GETTING TO SURVIVE when so few fucking people give a fuck if I live and breathe every day?

Because it’s not about other people and what they want for me, but what I want for myself. And for now living seems to be the better option when it comes down to it. Dying is such a final thing, no minds can be changed then. I want to be able to still affect and effect the way the dominoes fall, and being a ghost gives you such little control over those factors.

I do truly believe that ghosts can exist & there still doesn’t have to be a GOD to explain it all. I wish I could murder GOD on the world fucking stage right now because I feel FAR TOO FUCKING MANY OF YOU rely in that DO NOTHING IMAGINARY FRIEND TO SAVE YOU WHEN IT SHOULD BE YOU SAVING YOURSELF.

I continue to point this out to everyone who will listen to me, but to me there is nothing more offensive than people skipping over all the real people who do the nice things for you to then thank GOD who I guarantee has never fed a person, clothed them, gave them money or shown up to do any surgeries, no. That is not god MOTHERFUCKER SO STOP THANKING HIM FOR DOING JACK SHIT FOR YOU.

That’s the most beautiful aspect of maintaining your own content fully. Nobody can tell me I cannot use motherfucker for every place in any sentence: noun, verb, adverb anything. I can use motherfucker at will though technically mostly it’s our Dads doing the fucking of our mothers.

I think my heart fully broke when I saw sick people voting for the fascist, who can’t be bothered to pretend to be a decent person for no days of the year. There’s always some finger to point, an enemy to root out to detract the attention away from his numerous human failings.

What have you fucking done, America, I scream internally every day but now that you have done this to us all and I am in my last years there are things I need to ensure.

One of them is I document whatever descent into fascism I get to witness & I will be one of those documenting it in the funniest way I can, though ultimately the record may serve as a warning to the future to never let them run the conversation like this again to allow people to vote so far against their own interests they probably came up left again.

I am sitting here listening to music writing this. It is 6 pm and it’s dark so I am finally done doing any organizing I planned on doing so I am writing for now. Then I get to sink inside a book for a time today and hope I find some cash for some Kbeauty, some shampoo, some non legging options and black boots and I am done for a while.

I think my contributions to the economy over the next few years won’t be what I was planning but there’s nothing wrong with doing more saving than spending given the state of things.

With that being said, my drafts are numerous next to this screen. I will give you a little eye in later–I just wish I could backdate them as posted because most would not make sense posted today but on the days they were written. I am TELLING YOU MY MOST GENIUS SHIT NEVER SAW THE LIGHT IN OTHER EYES BUT MY OWN.

Hope your days were sweet. It’s been a less than twenty minutes and I am going to go read my book which will be a lovely way to end this day….xoxoxox friends.