Hmm, So I had an appointment the other day in the hospital–D came w/me as support. You know, with the world kind of just deciding to get infected over nailing prevention don’t think you can go to the hospital without getting the virus is what they’ve been saying. We’ve been super careful–that day I had us in our 6 layer Shero’s w/N94 liners & of course the air filters raging on when we got home & before.

I have a belief that if COVID did ever end up in our home, it would be quickly sanitized from the air so infection between the two of us could be avoided. It’s the 3rd set of lungs in the environment, so close to I-395, traffic which seems endless & Spring, which is in full force in Northern Virginia. Sure, we probably have sex too much to keep both of us totally virus-free, but for what it does sticking in the lungs, the third set would be invaluable. I still don’t see why business hasn’t seen this solution–cleaning the air themselves vs counting on the good graces & cooperation of a public that seems averse to such coordination & empathy in action. I’ve been to the dentist LOADS of times, but she has such a strong investment in her air quality simply bc the public cannot be trusted to come in not sick to open their mouths for the dentist to dig into–it’s what a smart business person would do to remove liability for infection on premises for all of their customers, and would instill in me, a fucking easy as pie marketing opportunity, because doing it does set you apart from the competition.

Now, you can do what I did and search for HEPA filtration, MERV-13, medical grade filtration and settle on a product. I’ve been using these guys since September of 2020 when we first moved here. My plan was to have them because there were some heavy fires outside Denver, & I knew the virus was in the air, because I had lived in NYC and there was literally no chance whatsoever that the virus was contact spread. So I got these filters–I looked on amazon for a good selection, found the company name, went to the company’s website (you should always do this btw) and bought 3. This one for the living room. This one for the office, and this one for the bedroom. The office is slightly bigger than the bedroom so that’s how I decided. Now, again that is https://medifyair.com/ You can get a coupon that could very much help a girl out (that girl is me) if you use it- CORONABALONA15 btw–that will give you $15 off any purchase made. I think the original set was about $500? I get replacements every 3 months bc the air is super dirty and they are always full by the time the season is over. We are in a high traffic area where the air is super dirty as it is–but we do not suffer allergies beyond when we are outside at all, if that. I credit these suckers for helping him even avoid his usual sinus failures every year–he usually gets pretty sick but it’s been a while since we’ve had any sickness here at all beyond the I drank too much maybe once or twice excuses. But we quit anyway recently so we are actually 100% sober from that reality.

So, yes. I had the ECHO, I am sure it was awful bc I looked at it and it was pretty fuzzy without a lot of peaks. Maybe it wasn’t–either way I am going to find out in a week and a day what the next surgery’s timeframe looks like. I suppose I will technically get to plan it–I know this because even though I am basically dead asleep from 9-4 sometimes 8-4 most mornings, I still live my life and do what I need to do to get by right now. I write, I mess around on Twitter, I scheme for the next big idea. I drive my husband crazy. Kidding but he is the only person I talk to most every day. Definitely the only one in person. I cannot work-my bladder doesn’t really let me up less than every 20 minutes most days, but at this point my heart rate is actually normal-67!–a few months ago when the last ECHO was done it was like 43-48 often. I took a few weeks off METOPROLOL by cutting it in half because that seemed to make sense when your heart rate was down that low. I did go back once I noticed my heart rate was going into the 90’s for a time, something that literally hurts my chest. So the 50 went back up to 100 mg on metoprolol. I know people have some strong opinions on it but it physically restricts your heart from beating too fast and too hard and works well enough on me, that I consider it just another in an arsenal of tools given to me not by GOD, give me a fucking break there, but by man, who has developed some wonderfully complex and efficient solutions to the problems that have plagued me.

So the surgeon will have his say–I know the last time I kinda tried to snag him into telling me if he felt confident I would live–clearly if there’s no greater than great guarantee that I would, why the fuck would I? I wouldn’t, that’s what. Now, there is the potential for all the other weird shit that can happen, a stroke, whatever–that’s why I am not getting my eyebrows micro-bladed until after because I might need some help tricking the eye. So we find out in a week or so what I might have to endure. Or like I said, if he doesn’t give me his confidence or thinks it’s too risky, nah. We will have to wait. Either way–I am going to take that filter with me–this one: https://medifyair.com/products/medify-ma-25-air-purifier

I don’t think I am being stupid taking that–that’s insurance. So much hospitalization has resulted in COVID infection that it would be stupid for me not to–clearly the rooms themselves are having some issues with the air since it’s going to be well cleaned between patients, again, use your brains, it’s in the air. So I will try to get it put where I can, but I think some of those people in the cardiac stepdown ICU have COVID, I am positive so I’m going to bargain that in there, too. Hell, if I have to take two out of my house for a minute, that’s what I am gonna do. No fucking way is anyone going to breathe COVID on me in the hospital however long before I get in the room.

Ugh, so yes, here we go again. This time, unlike the last time in 2005–I have to record it, I know. I don’t do that because my audience seems to often be the lurking kind-nobody says shit. Now if I put the videos up, I know people are going to say shit, likely be mean, some be nice, some unleash all their years of abuse on me like I don’t know what that is–but I am slightly anxious about doing it. I mean, I don’t leave the house enough to really worry about being recognized or anything like that, but just the mean comments, gestures, sentiments. The people who have been hurt the most do the best job cutting other people down–it’s a talent I even have had on occasion–I can write a mean letter like a motherfucker, though it’s been so long since I’ve done that. Even the notes I wrote to my birth mother didn’t possess cruelty, just kind of WTF lady, how could you throw your own daughter away twice kind of sentiment I think everyone considered when we talked about what happened.

Best case scenario is we get to plan it so I can write all the bigger parts of my stories out before I possibly kick the mortal bucket. 4-6 weeks would be a dream. Anything less and I might stress a bit.

Aren’t you so excited for me? Second replacement, ST JUDE’s, possible ON-X, no idea, yet. The only comfort I have is I have had SO much practice, not having anyone around but D in the mornings or evenings won’t be as scary for me as it would be for many of you. I did tell him I want a fucking recliner–I’ve told a few people I want a recliner. If you ever feel compelled to give to my personal recliner fund or any other cash you’d throw for any reason at all, PayPal me at heartsandscars@gmail and you will be giving me cash directly because clearly I have entertained you for over a decade, a dollar a year ain’t shit. Sometimes I lament my lack of advertisement for so so many years–JEREMY! I need to do the things. Or you could go and do something good for yourself and your family, and buy some filters but use CORONABALONA15 for $15 off your purchase. Of course I feel I don’t even need to feel shame in that because I have used them for years, dropped them several times on Twitter, here and coronabalona, that my loyalty preceeded the coupon. Now of course knowing that, I did write them to ask them for a coupon for everyone so I got it, but at this point at least, nobody i trying to send me shit or tell me anything they want me to tell anyone about or sell for them. These are MY results.