Radio silence is usually a sign around here that things got taken off the rails a bit. Don has been madly searching for work but has been denied unemployment from both Colorado and Nebraska, something we hope one day gets remedied, but depending on the government to do the right thing or catch up is not a winning strategy. See, he was laid off from the last job he had before Nebraska and so did start the initial unemployment claim—but he got a job in Nebraska so never claimed a single week on it last September. Given the states love ping ponging financial responsibility–they will do and look for anything to deny you. Nebraska denied him because he had an open claim in Colorado from last September and claimed he could claim in Nebraska after that runs out, we assume in September. And Colorado told Don he couldn’t claim in Colorado since he didn’t have record of work after September 24, 2019. So that nice $600 bonus? Not happening to benefit us right now and really…what the fuck, universe.

Of course for Don this is par for the course given he literally for some reason has anything easy when it comes down to getting shit done. He is not thrilled, and of course me with new health problems always on the horizon am not happy so–once again I am out here trying to figure out my next money making scheme. I know calling it a scheme makes it sound nefarious, but in order to survive the shit I have had to survive, you have to be innovative, inventive, and really, just successfully manipulative to get what you need to not die in a box. So I am trying to figure out some solutions for money making for us–we won’t know how bad it is until–um Monday, which is exactly two days before I have no health insurance anymore. I have yet to see the Cobra paperwork, and today I am getting a polyp tumor like thing looked at via ultrasound in my girly parts, and tomorrow I find out how that CT scan looked, though I’ll admit the only thing that stood out in the report was the 7 mm growth in my endometrial canal which actually turned out to be 11 mm.

Without ANY income, um, well, shit. We won’t be able to afford COBRA, so I might have to do a little push for that. I assume it should be around $13-$15k for the 3 month span it is usually offered in the initial letter–that’s maybe a lot of tshirts and earrings and whatever else I can come up with, but perhaps you are in need of one or two of my creations. I am thinking packages of $20-$50 depending on what I can manage, but tshirts and earrings and headbands would be easy to make happen to ensure I don’t have to off myself to save the expense. 3-500 orders would help me get to that total…but I don’t even know that I have that many people a month tuning into my genius revelations. One I will remind you all of, however–wear a damn mask.

Your friend Deanna here has maybe been a little more normal than some of you even without heart issues. I have employed a very common sense attitude towards interacting with the public, and here are my rules. I have had my hair done, saw the esthetician for a wax and treatment, been to the dentist and had 3, yes that is THREE major tests in buildings with lots of sick people, one would assume, given they were all in or attached to hospitals. This was all done over the past 6 weeks. I do not plan on getting infected and here is how I did it, and hope to continue to, over and over.

1) When making any appointment, try to make it for the first available time slot of the day. The reason–the spaces you are sitting or standing in have had an entire night to have the air filtered through them so the air should be free of microdroplets or surfaces which have been touched by others. Plus, depending on the philosophy of said business to enforce the use of masks, you might be inhaling air that infected people might be breathing out in situations where they think it’s their right not to wear one or try to protest the mask by pulling it down, etc. You’d think people would have realized the mask thing when they announced it was respiratory given the whole breathing factor with the respiratory system, but who knows what people would know.

2) When in any enclosed space with the public, wear a mask, always. This means almost everywhere but outside for me. I assume if I were a runner or a biker I would wear one running or on the trail, but where I live is generally windy enough to move the air around to make me worry not at all about infection as I still maintain some distance with everyone when I am out. I will wear a mask in the mailrooms, grocery or discount or any store, the post office or mailing service, and inside any restaurants I might pick up any orders. Generally speaking, if I am wearing the mask, I do wear sunglasses, but there is one exception for hospital and health clinic visits, which I add one other level of protection with–and that is the plastic visor I got when I got my hair done–it sticks as a shield to protect and cut off the eyes from any infected air. This morning I actually used the adhesive strip to attach the shield to the glasses themselves to cut off the sides from any air infection–cutting out the nose space so the glasses rested snug on my face without any ability for air to pass through or get sucked in. When I used them with the hairdresser I just had the shield taped to my forehead coming down across the nose of the mask, but that’s a little crazy looking, and my invention now hides behind the glasses so it’s not quite as obvious.

3) Carry Lysol wipes with you in the car. Use them to clean the steering wheel, handles and gear shift. Also, definitely use them to clean off any items you might be getting through the drive-thrus. I don’t even wear a mask when interacting with drive-thru people because of the distance and the air, but I definitely wipe the cups down from Dunkin Donuts and any beverage or wine bottles before I take them in the house. I also have a bottle of hand sanitizer, if not for just the peace of mind.

4) Use wipes on the plastic or boxes with groceries. I tend to use them when wiping down boxes or packages at the taped seams as well. If I don’t feel complete with that I might give the box a nice spritz of Lysol spray.

5) Wash your hands often and always when coming in from outside. If you have come from a medical test or the dentist, wash your face as well. When I come home from a test I might take a shower to just feel really complete and put my clothing in the hamper, just as a second effort. Certain strains of this virus apparently have the ability to infect easier, which to me means some of the more standard basics might leave you still prone to infection, and certainly there are some of us this would be far more lethal to. The scarred left lung, the one kidney, the strokes and the A+ blood make me a little more coronaprone, but certainly I know how to keep myself safe.

6) Be wary of touching your face with your fingers, especially anything close to your eyes, nose mouth. I tend to touch my chin a bunch but am hyper aware of my hands and would use the backs to itch and I touch my chin because I can’t let myself be a mutant woman with chin hairs so I do self exams to get rid of them all. I cannot tell you the number of times I have caught Don touching his face in the car after not paying attention to a possible infection point–I see them as lines of connection between everything and killing me, touching or being in the public and me, but I would say I was a far stretch from paranoid. I am careful, not ridiculous, and it’s not like I don’t live in a place with no infections

7) Have lots of sex as that might be the only fun thing you can manage. If nothing else it helps us manage our stress in some productive ways. The world might look like its falling apart but that doesn’t mean fun is always impossible.

So this is my list of helpful hints and one I would suggest and following them is the best way to avoid infection. I of course do insist Don also wear a mask, but some of the finer details he is not invested in. All I can do is point to my general health as the barometer of success–still it’s heart disease and other things sentencing me to and early death and not Coronavirus.