Seems those are the two choices most of us have. One of my less evolved friends, meaning one of my republican friends tried to tell me she got called racist because she asked for things to just go back to normal. My response ultimately was, this is not your time to air your grievances, this is the time for us to be a bit quiet and listen–the platform right now should be respected for what it is. I told her none of us should want things to go back to normal after this and what happened to that man was murder and I do hope we get some change out of this. My idea of change involves changing the entire philosophy of what our police are to us–perhaps dissolving the idea in some ways and make some concessions that sometimes we don’t need people who see their customers or clients or people they serve as enemy combatants–maybe change the way incidents are handled because there is certainly no need to act that way with anyone–we are not animals and we should not be handled like animals by our law enforcement especially, and we absolutely should hold them to higher standards including higher penalties for breaking the laws they are supposed to be overly familiar with and also enforcing. A kind of law you could unveil revealing there will no longer be the hypocrisy of police punishing and arresting people for the laws they themselves are breaking or have broken. This includes robbery and assault at all levels. We will no longer hold the people above us infallible.

As far as the racism goes, it is absolutely an issue in this country from almost every race towards the others. I have no idea where the hell it came from but it is a learned behavior generation after generation and I think our younger and more liberal cities have produced better children than some of the more rural ones because they don’t get quite the same direct exposure to other ideas they don’t find but on the internet or maybe through groups that support what their parents support. Certainly I feel the future generations should not have to deal with this quite the same way—hopefully we all learn some lessons or real change is effected. But I am certainly not going to speak personally on it because to me the same stuff has not happened and I haven’t dated a black man in what, 15 years now—I know it is a problem and I know people are assholes. And I haven’t had a bad interaction with any black person in over a decade now, and that was just some shitty hoodrat girl who was just happy taunting me on the way home from Columbia one day–but I have worked with just as many black people as white people at this point–though definitely more white people in Colorado for sure. There were less than 5 black people who worked for the travel company so yeah, rare thing out here for whatever reason. But working downtown was definitely more liberating that way when I did work for the bar here a few years ago.

I guess the only racist thought I have had over the past number of years is a general distrust of white people. I guess it’s something I realized in NYC and have noticed differences in here–white people are generally not very community oriented and generally more fearful so I don’t trust them quite as much as I would trust a more diverse population of people, especially during a national emergency, like I went through on 9/11. That’s why I like where we live–largely hispanic, muslim, indian and black and white–though I would say white is the first or second most populous population here so still plenty of people but at least it’s not all shiny white. The kids are cuter and they all seem to play well so you have to wonder if things will be better in more diverse populations of the future. But I would prefer always to be in a less white population because I have a general trust of white people as well.

I am not willing to go protest because I do not trust law enforcement, cannot get sick, and Don’s job would likely require I stay out of trouble so I am not going to do it in the classic way to elicit any kind of direct arrest. I can boycott and write and do what I can here without killing myself in the process and I will. But I am also not the voice for black America so I won’t try to be, just like I wouldn’t want to be the voice for white America either–I would like to be the voice for a real united part of America of course, the America looking for what unites us on general values instead of always pointing out the other. Wouldn’t that be nice? It would but I feel like we aren’t quite there, that we might have to fully bottom out and let the next election be the missing fission point we need. We need a leader right now, and we are sorely missing one, and as I have pointed out to a friend, someone needs to step up and say something. Someone needs to be the spark for inspiration and say and unite us with some urgency. I know, a dead man has in many ways, but we need some active leadership right now to guide us beyond our grief.

As far as threads to read, check this one out. I know all of these stories and all of these men, actually–but when have I said anything to anyone other than Don about it all? Rarely. Not that I talk to people, but even here, probably never. I do not do twitter enough yet to have direct access, but there it is.



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So far Florida is coming in at a great salary for Don so that’s it on ideas for where so far, but Hawaii is still a possibility as is Utah, I think, and St. Louis. Florida seems to excite him due to the beach life and you know, where people retire, but there are also cheap houses probably because most of Florida will be underwater at the end of this decade, if not definitely by 2050 though who the hell wants to live until they are 70 or 80? Not me, thanks.