We have all heard ourselves or someone else say, well, maybe one day when I find the time, maybe later on when I’m retired there will be enough time to do all the things I wanted to do–well, now we have the time. Unfortunately we might not be using all this time we have in the best way, if we are even using that time at all for those endeavors.

Ironically this hasn’t been fully realized by anyone, me included. I have unfortunately had to take stock of all the time I have right now and what I am spending it doing. Yes, like many of you I have been spending more than a good deal on social media. Usually it’s me making political commentary and chiding people for their general weaknesses–maybe that’s not the most effective use of my time, but someone should have hired me to their editorial board years ago. Still there’s that if you don’t like the sites you go to do your own solution I am working on, but I still have the fucking discipline of a fruit fly which means I still haven’t successfully chided or beaten my interest ADD out effectively.

I think it’s fucking time to cut the shit. I know, I have said a handful of times before, but since I haven’t fully invested in this idea of time as a commodity I need to revisit my whole practice. This would absolutely mean setting goals and time limits on bullshit I spend my time doing daily. The first few days I tried–it was like ok, before 9 am, if I am off, Fabulous. Those days stretched into 2 pm, some days intermittently depending on what was going on. Don tells me constantly to stop reading the news and spend my time building the vlog, sewing, basically everything I am not doing.

So yesterday I realized how terribly unfit I am. I mean like stretching hurts though I do often find myself on the couch with the soles of my feet touching in that little pose knees in a triangle out. Sometimes if I am in the car I will touch the ceiling with my toes, but that’s just because I am bored and check if I am finally totally apart. Not yet. Nope.

So, something solid. I need a solid schedule and some kind of reward system though I am not really motivated by much. The things I want I cannot have and there is nothing standard I would be satisfied with besides Don arriving at the door and staying in with me until this tide goes out. Food? Nope. Drink? Nope. Weed? Nope as I have really cut down to like ONE joint a day sometimes not even. That’s kind of a miracle if you know me at all. Maybe just the reward to my ego that I finally did what I fucking said I would do because I could do it or not would be enough.

Either way, I’ve never been one for too much cable TV but I think I have absolutely watched almost everything on Hulu and Netflix and Prime. I have Gaia which is good if you want to float away to la la land. And that’s great for yoga and exercise videos–there’s some sweet meditation videos as well. So now it’s Spotify and I am cutting myself off for a bit.

So. No more Facebook between 1-8 pm MT. It’s almost the 8 hours, 30 minutes short we would typically work during a normal day of employment so it seems perfectly sensible and really very spoiled. The weekends? I dunno. I was generally not that on them when Don was around because he was around. The sooner he gets back here the less distracted I can be.

So that time will be for cooking, learning, walking the poop (that’s Duke) and exercising, drawing, doing art, sewing, writing here or for the other places, whatever. It will be my time because I CAN use that time totally unencumbered by children, a 9-5, and even with Don here, we’ve spent lots and lots of time together with no other friends but once a year so i am not concerned there. But I have legitimately no distractions. Clearly these means I am missing some things other people have which means yes, there is no child telling me mommy I love you and I certainly won’t be leaving the world with much of an impression on anyone besides in passing largely, but whatever. That means also my stress can be limited to the things I let myself focus on, which is actually the whole world, your children included.

But seriously–if I don’t come out of this year a more productive person, then it just makes zero sense all around. So I have what, 8 months to get my shit together.

Some goals include:
painting for my mother
drawing for my birth father
prints for birthday cards
several dresses I have patterns and fabric to make
copywriting done
several websites
vlog consistent
instagram. yes, that again. I am actually pretty okay looking but I know how evil some of you can be
a more consistent skin routine. I sometimes still fall asleep without washing my face
exercise 5 times a week. 7 seems a bit outrageous, sorry.

So that’s 10 things in 8 months and certainly there can be some overlap and early completion but that is it. Some things obviously require more or less effort but I am absolutely going to have to give myself space in every day to do these things.

Again, the overall message is: time is a commodity, do not waste it