I have been reading a ton of books, because I can and I don’t have children and my husband is conscious a few hours of every day in tandem with me, usually right before work when it’s time to get down to start the day right. He, having ended his workday just mere hours before I force myself out of bed, and it’s time for me to work. I am reading a lot which is like having friends you can’t talk to, so it solves a few conundrums with my time. It’s a more of a swing and a nick, instead of a full on hit, this life of mine right now. I have some goals though and I feel like I know how to make them happen. And I do know how to make them happen but I am stubborn and self-centered (though just with most of my time these days)–but yes, I think I figured it out and it comes down to that little thing I have been missing in my life forever. A belief I could do anything and I wouldn’t have monumentally massive walls in front of me. The walls I realize largely are of my own making. As cheesy as it sounds I have never had a specific belief in myself in any way. It wasn’t something drilled into us as kids nor was achievement especially celebrated though I could say it was expected of us all.

Life threw me some curve balls this week–my boss, the guy who believed in me and understood and valued the same business ethics I do up and quit. He made the mistake of getting into management, something I know better than to do ever with these guys. And they did twist and manipulate and do shit all the wrong way, so I think ultimately the action he took was what they wanted him to take.

On a more positive note my ER visit which basically took care of all of my echo, mri, EKG needs for the year looks like a bill I can probably even pay, holy shit…I have been littering all the big message boards lately with my messages on healthcare and how it only enables you the ability to go bankrupt. Nobody gets it unless they get it, and it’s just not something I would wish on anyone.

Today left me with two memorable comments. One typed to me in im, the other I read and it cracked me up so I will share with you here, too.

1) A comment on the White house page on the Wall–”
Linda Nelson Here’s an idea you can build the wall with Hillary’s emails because you can’t get over them

Best ever.

Also.

2) My colleague, who is pretty much an asshole said to me, “Even though it seems like I hate you, I appreciate you.” She wrote this in an im when she was leaving which was super fun.

Me in response, “the feeling’s mutual. Have a really nice weekend. ”

See I am clever and she can wonder if it was the whole statement or the conclusion.