To make matters sparkly and nice in my world, I just discovered this fun little issue with my bank:

AS IF my health problem and other assorted financial disasters weren’t enough to make me want to jump off of my building, my bank, full of the smart cookies they are, seem to know absolutely nothing about fixing my problem. Last year I made an arrangement with a credit agency to withdraw money from my account to pay off a debt that would soon be dropped off of my credit report, because I KNEW I spent the money so I might as well do the right thing and pay it off, no matter when it was supposed to drop off. Problem was, it was a direct debit from my checking account that did not stop once the amount agreed upon had been paid off in July. I tried to contact this ghost company, and could not locate them, no matter what. I called my bank, and every time it came out, they were like, well, we need it to fully post before we can do anything. Go fill out your affidavits of fraud and we can fix it. Lo and behold, you need to close your entire bank account before it can be really stopped. Did that. Spoke with several supervisors about the fact that this was being done, filled out all legal paperwork indicating the debt was not authorized. A supervisor even credited me the illegally obtained money until I filled out these affidavits. Did that but they decided to take it (the credited money) back anyways.

Citibank then tried to contact said debtor, based on information that they had, and could not locate them to get my authorization (of which there was none for any debts). They could not locate them, and then decided to push the entire debt into my lap, as it is Citibanks corporate policy to release funds to whomever has your bank account information without having to actually identify themselves. I, flabbergasted, got a supervisor to admit that Citibank has no vested interest in identifying debtors, provided them have the correct account information. There has to be no actual person behind the actual debt.

To add insult to injury, I never received any sort of contact or notice from this debtor that anything had been paid, or that they thought I owed them more.

How great of me to actually fulfill a financial obligation and pay a credit agency right? Not really, as Citibank has sold my information to a credit collection agency. I refuse to deal with any collection agencies ever again, as said man lied to me already about my account not being reported to ChexSystems as well as the fact that dealing with these idiots was how I got into trouble in the first place.

Phone call after phone call…go to the branch they are the ones to help you. Branch: the call center is the only organization that can help you. Call center comes back and says, go to branch. Then they give me a bad phone number on Friday to an unrelated department to pay off the debt over the phone since all I have for money is a visa gift card. I call this department and end up in the same fucking circle of bullshit, no one at the call center can help you, go to the branch.

How fANtastic!

So. Today is cold. I have not pastrami hands, but salami hands…

hahahaha.