The above title is part of my new project…it’s funny when I think about the loads of time I have to argue and debate.

It’s almost endless, in fact. Work for me will probably happen, if I am lucky, June or July. That’s the problem with those open hearts, they kill your stamina. My nurse tries to give me hope by telling me you get better at going through heart and heart related surgeries. I think this makes me kind of sad, actually, that I am getting good at getting my chest ripped open or my arteries cut and patched together again. It is not something I thought I would be good at as a little girl, so it all comes as a surprise. But someday all of this might be very funny…or not.

Either way, each day holds a lesson for me. Each day I try to be grateful I am able to live and kiss my boyfriend and pet my puppy. I am in this super-sensitive place lately…mortality is such a real thing to consider. But taking anyone or anything for granted seems like a greater crime with any foresight. it seems like the worst kind of crime given what I have been able to survive.

Tonight E and I traveled to see my friend at her wedding reception. I am not so good at parties so we stayed a bit, met some people and popped out and to my home for Falafel. I am feeling the pain of my ribcage being annoyed…this will probably get worse as the time draws near. I need to call my healer to work more…it gets brighter, my light, every time we speak.

I find reasons to smile every day. Every day. A smile a day can keep your cardiologist at bay…I wish.

Either way, life spins by me at a quickening pace…soon my new real life will begin. All of this waiting has cut holes in my spirit for the past ten years. I am finally sewing the holes closed but it, this surgery, needs to happen soon so I can get a move on.

Be well, lovelies.