if you need to know anything about hospitals it’s they are really no fun unless you are one of the people inflicting the pain.

otherwise you have rows and rows of victims crying out in pain because someone is always there to poke you and prod you and make you cry.

this past little venture in the hospital solidified one thing for me: in my 29 years of life i have undergone 5 ruthless surgeries that have tested my wills and strengths and solidified my tolerance for pain. when i am 75 and this all is supposedly normal, forget it, let me go. let me die with some kind of dignity. i paid my dues early to make it easier later i guess.

the pain is immeasurable. my neck sports two 6 inch scars above what would be my left and right clavicles. what would be because i am so swollen you can’t really see that i have clavicles at all. it feels like someone is perpetually tightening a rope around my neck, but i am able to breathe. my arms are yellow and purple with every plausible vein blown. i made them let me go yesterday since i was not only bleeding menstraly for the sixth day, but my own smell revolted me. so they let me go. and somehow, here, in the comfort of my home, i can eat more than chicken broth.

i will for sure post up pictures really soon.

for all of you who visited me, for all of you who went out of your way to call me and make me feel better, i send you my endless thanks. for every prayer and good thought, thank you. Like I have said in the past, a hospital visit will weed out your true friends. and that’s the truth. The people who visited surprised the shit out of me. The prayers and calls meant everything.

This year I am really cleaning the junk and build up out of my life: from never were friends to bad thoughts to enemies to everything. i don’t need to care about things which do not matter.

I DID IT AGAIN!!!!!!