I realize I must be the hugest brat in the world, because ultimately when I have to do any job, I hate it with intensity enough to grow anxiety about it out of my chest and limbs like it’s the worst thing I could be put through. For someone to work two nights a week and have no other responsibilities to anyone else during any other part of the week, you would think I would be in heaven, right? Well, sure, if I don’t think of some excuse not to go in. It’s not that I despise work, I just have despised most of the work I have been employed with, and not for the obvious: it’s because you hate working for other people (I do) or actually doing work, but because nothing I have been employed to do has really had my heart wrapped up in knots to accomplish accomplish accomplish.
I am a slacker employed person, and a slacker unemployed person. Not under the classic definitions and pretenses, but because I really don’t care as long as my bills are paid. This is probably why I should be in a position not to have to work and just write and do all that other things that makes me happy. This is Deanna Dreamland, though, not the true land that I know, and I do understand I will probably have to hold a dozen more positions doing stuff I consider pointless.
Yesterday I waxed the words of the year with Sean, prophet over man. It was fun to do that with someone during my hours, the daylight twilight, when I wanna go play but no one else can.
Today today. I have to go to work at 4. And stay until late, but probably not too late. Or maybe not. Mr. too Big for his britches owns a piece of this place, and everyone always comes in asking for him, how often does he come here, does he hang out, that kind of stuff.
I am gonna get it together for my beauteous passport action. I should go today or tomorrow to get the ball rolling, gain my ability to fly the coop and go somewhere fun.
My fingers are cold. I want to hug my boy. I want to kiss his lips. I want to snuggle under a blanket and pretend the world is pretty at peace.
But alas, no.
February 10, 2005 at 4:48 pm
I am so on your page!! Am so tired of the cold snow gloom. Some warm and beach-y destination has stayed on my mind too!
And I believe you could be the only ‘water place’ travel buddy I may have. Getting a passport is still something I need to do as well, so travel across the ocean is off my immediate radar. Hope we will really make a trip together in 2005. What are your top destinations or locations? And would you consider reasonable for $$s spent or cost[limit]?
A friend of mine shared a ‘last minute’ resort specials website for really underpriced airfare and accommodations in the Caribbean and around… now wouldn’t that be lovely?! How much notice would you need before you could travel? ~B~
p.s. please let me know too if it is really okay with you if I’m posting here
February 11, 2005 at 9:04 am
obviously…
Obviously it’s okay that you post here, given that I gave you this link before. It actually makes me happy to have you read and be privy to my life and life’s situations.
I could go with almost no (a week even) notice. Currently I have picked up Tuesdays and Thursdays at my bar. These are the only two days that I am working and I could find replacements quite quickly given that they are not the weekends and so spread apart.
The Caribbean sounds lovely. Cost limit isn’t so much an issue. I don’t need high-priced accomodations or anything like that, and provided the dollar doesn’t continue to tank down too low to the point where we cannot do anything, almost anything would be good. I figure hotels and that kind of thing generally you can get (a double) for 80 bucks or less in most places. I definitely do not feel comfortable staying in ritzy places that we would probably only sleep in anyway. Money should be spent on recreation in my opinion.
So yes, we should definitely do this. There is always flying to Cancun and doing the Playa del Carmen thing, too.
Yay!!! Something to look forward to would rock me.