life.
i finished one class, one is still going. we are even having a makeup session during reading week.
that class i am petrified of. i have to write a paper on Derrida and Levinas incorporating some Attridge. I should use a novel, or good example of literature to support my idea (thesis). i don’t think i have read anything novel-worthy, or anything which might be impressive to a college lit professor in years. I don’t know what to do and I am freaking out!10-15 pages of goodness is what i need. garbage is not acceptable.
thanksgiving was good. turkey for me and F. then river and 5 others came over to partake. then i left that Friday evening on a bus to go to mass to see my parents with F. we had a really good time and my parents weren’t weird about him staying with me in the guest room bed. this is a huge win for me since i am over 30 and it has always been looked down upon. they like him a lot and invited him up to mass for post Christmas. again it will be Friday night through the weekend. he was very interactive with everyone (much more so than anyone I have dated before). and he is shy, so that is even weirder.
i am going to Denver if i can convince my boss to let me from the 31st through the 12 or something, then F goes to Uruguay for ever. I mean, for the rest of the month once I come back. I am very comfortable with him around. i cannot sleep without him in my bed so well…
vhatever, enough of that.
love to you peepers. I try to log on but I am not so good with this. i owe tara a gift and a letter but I is poor and could not attend your party due to stupid final preparation. I need your number Francine because my messages are all erased with your number!
bye eye bye.
December 5, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Um yeah!!! You better better make sure that we get some time! 🙂 I’m going to be around during that time. I am actually on vacation the week of the 15th this month, but. I can always make time for friends! 🙂
*HUGS*
PS: Dunno if you saw my most recent medical drama….they are fixing to put me on permanent blood thinners. Guess I didn’t escape as much as I thought.
December 5, 2008 at 5:29 pm
obviously if i am there that long we DEFINITELY will. I haven’t checked people’s stuff except briefly. What happened? I will have to check up on you–blood thinners aren’t so bad, they just take time to get used to. i still drink and eat whatever i want–just need adjustments from time to time.
I am happy you are well Miss J.
:))))))
December 5, 2008 at 4:59 pm
You were missed, but I hope you did well on your finals! I can’t believe the semester is over already, but then again, I can’t believe I’ll have an actual baby in 2 months either. Time flies man. I still have to get that stupid dress form before I’m too big to drive to get it. I’m thinking while I’m trapped in my house with that baby, I might as well sell stuff online!
Sounds like Thanksgiving was great, the guy is wonderful, and the trip to your parents was fun and stress-free. What more can one ask for? Good luck with your paper- that kind of shit was the bane of my existance. Especially because we were always asked for “footnotes”. I hated that.
December 5, 2008 at 5:27 pm
oh christ, footnotes I have never done honestly. I have a lot to learn it seems.
BABY!!!! oh my god I can’t believe it.
Come over any time, Seriously. We can do lunch or something one weekend maybe–I will email you a dress form photo later on tonight.
December 5, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Glad you had such a great Thanksgiving, although quite frankly surprised to hear that you were here in MA since you mentioned having to work as the reason for not being able to come visit me…here in MA.
Ah, well.
I love you and always will, but our friendship seems pretty much non-existent at this point, and I’m wondering if we shouldn’t just let it die.
December 5, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Hmmm.
Normally I would not try and have such a conversation out here in public, but since you bit, I will have to respond.
I worked on Wednesday and Friday. I left late Friday night. Weeks before, you told me you had to work, so such a trip would have made little sense. In fact, every time I spoke with you about it, you emphatically spoke of your “need to work”. Then you told me your friend was coming to visit you. Then she wasn’t. Not sure where I went wrong here, given my story never changed.
You keep pushing and pushing and pushing, Francis. We do not live in the same place. I have called you and had you not call me back, just as I have done the same to you. This I attribute to us both having busy lives where we bust our asses and deal with our respective illnesses. I did not assume it meant we were drifting so far apart we should not be friends.
I am not you, however, and perhaps we have different needs from one another than I thought. Whenever I have checked up on you it seemed as though there were people there *in person*, who had their eye on you, so I never worried. I don’t have such a flock around me. I have me, and I have Asa. I also have small part of F (to some extent). I literally see nobody else, nor do I have any other real friends. River I have seen two or three times in several years. Fetus doesn’t give a shit. Bjorn and JC don’t give a shit. Everyone else you know that I used to know and had over for my island of misfit toys events has moved on to greener pastures that do not include me. I do not matter to anyone but myself and my dog. and I guess F to an extent. I do not have any friends, Francis. So assuming I am out here whooping it up while putting other people in any place is very incorrect.
December 5, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Whenever I have checked up on you it seemed as though there were people there *in person*, who had their eye on you, so I never worried. I don’t have such a flock around me.
This is a total misconception. There is no one here, Francis. No friends—lots of acquaintances that I run into while out and about, yes, but no one I would call a “friend” or feel I can count on when I need help or anything like that. Most of the people I shoot the shit with know very little about me at all. And unlike you, I have no significant other. When I get sick, no one is here. No one comes to visit me. No one helps me in any way whatsoever. Instead, I take the bus to and from the hospital for my IV infusions (alone), come home (alone), and have to take care of myself (alone) —including when I am so ill that I do things like nearly faint in the shower or go without eating for nearly 24 hours (while feeling hungry) simply because I am too fucking weak to even get up and microwave something.
Our situations are parallel. Except, of course, that I don’t have a S.O. Ever. Never have except for Fela, who was a total alcoholic psycho and did more damage than she ever helped, and, in all likelihood, never will.
At least you have someone to sleep next to at night.
I envy you because you are always loved.
Yeah, I did need to work. Then I got sick. Oops. Not my fault. The work still isn’t done, and I am strongly considering dropping out of school. As in, right now. Also, my father got off for good yesterday. Home free. Basically, I am at a point where I literally no longer care about anything, including myself. I could care less if I die in 5 minutes, honestly. In fact, it would be a relief. So yeah, my life is fantastic, too.
December 5, 2008 at 10:45 pm
FRANCIS!
I love you to pieces. I am sorry this is so difficult. It is hard for me to have you be that far away too…and then to think you have made plans and arrangements to stay in MASS permanently is also kind of disconcerting. I have room for you with me. So do not give up!
As for Dick, well, we all know where he will end up.
I miss you a trillion Francis. Seriously.
December 6, 2008 at 2:19 am
Francis,
I love you, too.
I replied to your text message.
My Blackberry # is: 508-208-4346.
XOXOXOXO
December 6, 2008 at 3:53 am
My finals are next week and then I’m taking a break! Good luck with the paper.
December 6, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Glad your Tday was good and that your new relationship is working out well for you. Happy to hear you are more content and less stressed out too D…