To start my birthday off right, I’ve received three presents already!!!!

I had a sleek black 13 inch macbook to assist me through my educational endeavors from my birth father, Mark and family. I consider this my Christmas/Birthday/School gift for the next few years. I was mildly afraid of it for the first few hours…after all, I have had three cars and none of them were that expensive. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stared at it for a while. I am so used to ghetto computers that all the tricky things this thing can do escape me. I have to convince my little brother to hook me up with some basic lessons one of these days.

—–And to top it all off, I even got a card in the mail a day ago for my birthday from him, too.

My birth mother’s parents sent me a little money order. Though she did not exactly reference my birthday in the card, it does reference my schooling.

Steven gave me something as well.

gave me a sleek itunes gift card, which comes in handy now that I have a mac and can hook up my video ipod Francine gave me last year for Kissmas (Francine gives the bestest gifts, another reason you should be jealous). Thank you so much Mr. Thteven, for your lovely generosity. 🙂

My own parents may or may not send me a card. I don’t expect one from my brother and my nieces, only because I am a shitty aunt. In fact, I am shitty with all cards. It is only fitting that I not get a birthday card. I remember their birthdays. I call them on them. But I don’t bother sending cards because I am forgetful. I don’t mean to be, I just have a hard time with stamps and not procrastinating on occasion. My sister’s birthday is 4 days after mine, and I will send her a card, but this is a strange, even infrequent occasion. I need some kind of reminder program so people can stop expecting nothing from me. Ah well, you get what you give, I guess. So basically nobody should give me anything–I think I am a bad friend, too, most of the time.

Bah. So much for that self-deprecation. I realized today that my seizure medicine is supposed to be regulating moods and/or pain as well as preventing seizures. You actually do feel completely insane when your medication is off (for the seizures anyways). I can’t quite explain it, but I have looked over the edge to my own “nothingness”, that point where you just feel like your sanity dangles by a string, and you could lose every semblance of dignity or reality with just an unseen shift in the head.

E is having issues, questioning things. He thinks he might end up going into entertainment law. The record industry is going down in flames. And he doesn’t want to burn with it.

Anyhow…I should be looking for classes or writing my paper which is due next Wednesday. That’s what Friday nights are for, I guess.

Be good little cookies.

xo