Oh my Christmas.

Merry Happy Chanu-Christma New Year’s to all.

I update so infrequently because of the lack of free time in my life, and when it does seem to happen, I decide to dedicate it to other endeavors. Towards the end of the year things become totally complicated, what with my balancing acts with work, and holidays and all of that.

I have been transformed from a fairly cold and steely person to one of those who writes cheesy ass cards. You know those Hallmark tender moments kinds of messages–I used to avoid them like the plague when I was younger, instead choosing to go the route of fart jokes, or other assorted unemotional fun. I have been edging closer to cheese overload as the years have gone on, but these last surgeries have jarred my emotionality, or lack thereof, and now I am not only not embarrassed and red-faced by the emotional moments I inspire, but I actually revel in them.

I sent out cards to everyone who sent me birthday cards, and everyone who has helped me out over the past year whose address I did have (with exception of very few). Some of you (Dana, Jho, and Doug) I did not have current contact information for, but I did think about you during these past holidays, and do wish happy and good things over the next year. If any of you wish to receive an actual piece of snail mail, it would be important to include your address in an email to me personally, so I can get right on that. I did enjoy writing my personal little messages to everyone, and t did feel good to actually reach out and thank people (I thanked every one of my doctors and surgeons to boot).

On Saturday I had my Christmas Eve’s Eve dinner where I made a turkey and had a lovely dinner for my friends. Kelly, E, Fetus, Francine, Sean and me. I got everyone something, effectively playing Santa Clause, given I had never given a majority of the kids there anything before, but also because, as the island of misfit toys that we are, it was important for me to see semblances of joy and surprise on their faces when they realized Santa had come for them. Even if they didn’t get another thing for Christmas, it was important for me to see them happy to get a token of my appreciation for them. As the Fetus said, I am the uniter, I guess. I never thought I had it in me (as in was I interesting enough) to keep everyone together and be a good enough hostess and reason to have people want to come together. I always waited for other people to be that person, when all along I had it in me to do it. This was a good thing to learn about myself over the past year, and I am really thankful to know it.

This coming year there are massive plans in the works for me in getting my goals figured and dreams discovered. I really want to wish all of you the best New Year ever and hope only good things happen for all of you! I have another secret side project in the works for my writing, so when it is available, I will let you all know!