www.truthdig.com/report/item/200601019_after_pats_birthday/

Then you can check this out:

sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=tillmanpart1

Then you might be able to convince me I am crazy about being upset at what our government does.

Then you might be able to see why I am so angry about what is happening. The nerve is almost just shocking, until you realize they do whatever they want, for whatever reasons they deem fit. They hide what they want to hide–all in the name of good PR.

If you aren’t angry, then unfortunately you are a member of the apatheric majority, who sit around twiddling their thumbs thinking, this is none of my business. It has nothing to do with me so why should I care?

Honestly, reading this stuff does give me some semblance of hope. This whole internet communication thing, this world of cell phones and tv and instant communication is the ONLY reason this stuff is coming out into full view. I hate it, but it just might save our lives somehow.

I have never talked ill of anyone who has gone to fight. Because the people that I know who have done so wanted to fight for something they believed in. I hate that they try and give “hope” to poor kids in less than impoverished neighborhoods by making joining the only reasonable light at the end of the tunnel they will have. There are not ways to educate oneself  with recognition without money, we all know. I would not blame these kids for joining. I would not speak one ill word about them, if not only for the fact that I myself would not only NOT do it, but I also wouldn’t be permitted to do it.

Why wouldn’t I do it? Because I believe that as a country, we are WAY off course to promoting peace or stability or anything that we don’t directly make money from. There is no “out of the goodness of our hearts” anymore in this country. People are selfish, they want to keep everything they have hidden, including any evidence of heart, in honor of pretending that everything is somehow ok while closeting themselves from the reality that shit is FALLING APART.

I have painted myself into tight corners talking about this stuff, it’s true. Nobody wants to be more depressed than life makes them already. I understand that.

I just don’t understand ignoring what is going on here in some efforts to pretend everything is fucking glittery and fancy and dancing. “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” is somehow the new American mantra. If people actually gave a shit about each other, if we decided to try and help each other out while our government sells us out,. we might have something different, less sinister coming our way.

It’s like my co-worker said, “If shit fell apart and I needed food, fuck any person who gets in my way. I’ll kill someone before my kids go hungry”. I believe that he would, in fact. It just makes sense…not killing to feed your kid, but feeling as if there is no need to share in a dog eat dog world.

Unfortunately, every man for himself is not how this country started. And certainly not how it’s going to sustain.