Wow. My fancy #30 celebration of yearly life is coming shortly. Very shortly even. I wonder sometimes, with the actual delicacy, some people call it preciousness, of life how it is I have skated past all of this insane drama and come out better for it.
Sometimes my editing is flawed in the eyes of collegiate graduates. but I don’t really care. I write to my own rhythm, to my own beat, and that’s just fine by me.
But yeah, back to that delicacy thing. Isn’t it strange that we walk around, basically bugs inside out, impervious that being in the wrong place at the wrong time can, in effect, leave us dead. We exhibit an amazing amount of trust. of faith even, that we will not be speared in the back, lit on fire, or shot dead by any person walking by who might just feel the urge. Yeah, I know that’s why people have things like law, and religion. Things that force them into tight columns, unaware of the power they have to just end it all for any unsuspecting person they might encounter. It scares the shit out of me actually. Knowing I could be victim to some psycho’s rage or ill will. If not simply for the fact that they might be having a bad day. I cry often reading the newspaper, appalled at the lack of regard some seem to have for the sanctity of human life. It takes an instant to end a life. But it takes 9 months to bloom, and an entire lifetime (which is all relative of course) to foster and unite. Three seconds to untie, years upon years to wind up.
I have been contemplating writing a particularly scathing editorial about all of this faux-horror at what Chavez said about Mr. Bush. I would think that people would actually step up and say, yeah, he is the devil, but nobody has enough balls to do so. Granted his methods were a bit dramatic, shall we say. But they were effective. My very wealthy otolaryngologist agreed with me, actually. She being a prime winner of a republican administration. She said he was a slimy snake. And I know other people believe it. There were a few points I did want to bring up about that. I really do not care about what political leverage he was trying to accomplish by giving poor people the rights to cheap and affordable oil. Do you see our lovely president doing the same? If he was Mr. Chavez would be wasting his time. But looking at Katrina and the structure of our economy and how it is set up for poor people to fail, I would say that we should welcome his help with open arms. And honestly? I don’t want to fake some patriotism towards an administration which is perpetuating more drama for the people of this country. In Europe and everywhere else in the world, people rejoice (and should for that matter) that Americans do not necessarily represent the wills and aggressiveness of the administration which supposedly represents them. In fact, they ask about it like it’s a weird disease. I don’t take personal offense to criticism, because I wasn’t the one making the mistakes. And I love this country. And I support freedom. I am just not sure that what is being touted as freedom is anything more than some political jargon to distract us from what we should really be concerned about. And that is us. This is not enforcing freedom. It’s called scaring the shit out of everyone to support you because they wouldn’t go along with it normally. If this did happen I would seriously have to point some fingers towards DC for perpetuating so much hatred for what I consider a very decent place to be, and be from..
September 25, 2006 at 6:55 pm
I may have voted for him twice, but I still believe that he has failed the United States in many more ways than one. I support him *only* on the War on Terror and the Economy, and only somewhat on the latter.
The problem with what Hugo Chavez did is that he insulted the OFFICE of the President of the United States of America, which is far far different than insulting he who holds that post right now. I was horribly outraged just until I started laughing my ass off.
I did vote for him … twice. The second time is only because I could not and would not vote for Kerry, a man who spit upon my father for rescuing downed pilots in combat (proudly displays her Pararescuer shirt she’s wearing today)… but my father turned his cheek and said, “that’s your prerogitive that these men defend.”. It’s always good to remember that.
I love this country too, and I believe that we will pull through anything, as long as we stay together. But the problem is… can we do that? I’m finding that Jericho will be a pretty good story to tell that.
It’s also good to remember one thing… WE are responsible for our own protection and security. Not the cops, not the firefighters, and sure as hell not the military. But each individual. 🙂 And if we can remember that and to take care of those who cannot always do it themselves, I think we can overcome whatever may come at us.
*HUG* You’re a very strong and brave woman, and I’m very proud to call you friend.
September 26, 2006 at 2:34 am
hmmm
Oh see, I thought he was actually insulting Bush himself. Maybe I missed something, but there seemed to be little symbolism aside from the “it smells like sulfur in here..he is the devil, etc”. And still, the government has just decided to fuck people here (they have decided to instigate federal law to prohibit people from being able to tie 9-11 to disease and illness, because it just cannot be proven without a doubt, right? I don’t fucking think so). Look at all of the fucking lawyers they had reviewing the greenhouse effect and global warming papers. Changing wording like IS to “might be” then claiming there is no significant tie to our emissions and global warming. We have a filthy lying administration and probably always have. But I am sick of it.
Look, my dad was in the Navy. One of my best friends in the world fought in the first gulf war and has told me shit over the phone that got him visited by the NSA back in ’02 or ’03 LONG before this wiretapping shit was published. They were doing it a long fucking time ago. I know shit a lot of people don’t know, but it’s probably better that way anyways.
If you google a nice little spectacle known as Bikini Island and Nuclear testing you will see what our precious government has done. They murder their own fucking servicemen and have NEVER EVER even admitted they did one fucking thing wrong.
The end of what you said freaked me out a bit. Something sparked a memory of someone in the SEALS telling me about some target practice for something that they think will happen in 2012? Scary stuff is all I know.
But, I do find it interesting that the Mayan calendar calls it caput by then (the end in ’12). Better squeeze all the fun in now before a real civil war breaks out. I hope one day I eat my words…because all of it was a bunch of lies. But I really don’t know.
Voting is about electing the lesser of two evils. Personally, I believe that the election was stolen the first time around with some significant help, and it didn’t leave us better for it.
But hey! We now get to understand terrorism up close and personal instead of halfway across the world. I just don’t think these guys know what the fuck they are doing to us in the long run. And I don’t think they really care as long as they get the rebuilding contracts without employing any great percentage of the population that they have destroyed. You really cannot rationally and morally support an administration that has actually been supported by, and supported the raping of a fresh newborn economy by stepping in and saying “Yeah, we done blowed you up”. But now we’s got these big companies that will come on in and put it all back together for you. Oh, you want to help? Hell no, you cannot. This is our game. Not yours.
Bleh. Sometimes I want to throw up about it. But then again, so do most people who bother caring.
I started getting irate editing this from the beginning because I truly believe in my heart of hearts that if people knew what the people who supposedly represent us have done to their own citizens, and if they were somehow released from this spell of consumerism, that they might actually DEMAND a fucking change. It is seriously coming to a head. And I personally cannot wait for the top to blow off the can.
Hugs to you, too. I’m sorry if this is more emotionally charged than I intended. I am just pissed off. Sorry ;(
September 26, 2006 at 3:06 am
Re: hmmm
No worries! Believe me, I know we all have reason to be pissed. I know I am, and I really think that things are gonna come to a head in the next 5-10 years, and all I can really do is be prepared.
I’m all too familiar with what went on at Bikini Atoll… my granddad was up there at Hickam Air Base, and I was born in Guam. Eek. It was not right the things that were done in the name of world domination. I remain terrified of nuclear activity (guess I’m fascinated by Jericho, huh)…. but amazed. Amazed that we haven’t used it since, and that no one else has either. They’ve done worse, too. It’s terribly sad, and there’s no excuse. But in the name of fighting the Reds, right?
My Granddad taught me how to shoot by the time I was 12… I still am a dead eye, and believe heavily in my 2nd Amendment Right, but that’s the case when you live 30 minutes from Russian Air Space. 😛 But he also taught me that in our darkest days, the best of humanity will survive. Whatever that may mean. :\ We need each other, we *don’t* need to be fucked over by those that think they know everything, and can’t have anyone tell them any different. We need to work together, not fight amongst ourselves.
But… before any of that.. we need to believe. You’re right… ‘they’ have been screwing us over for years already. Nuttin’ we can do about that, and it sux0rs. Civil Liberties are a myth from the olden days. 😐 But, I try. And I fight. And I vote. Not that mine ever counts in this city! 😛 But we need SOMETHING to believe in. I hoped that Katrita would have opened our eyes to our issues here at home, and I thought we would unite behind them to take care of our own. Instead, we have … well… midterm elections.
I try not to be too hopeful about tommorrow. I don’t know whence it will come. It’s sad… I’m scared that it won’t. I just try to live for today, and maybe the next year or 2. It’s sad… but for a long time, I didn’t know if I would SEE tomorrow. I don’t really know how, but it’s alright! What’s gonna happen is so much bigger than me. Sadly enough though, I also do founder in dread of tomorrow as well. Especially when I look around at all the ickiness. :\
I know I’ve got a lot to work through… and I try. Part of the reason I try to understand human nature, perhaps one day I’ll come to understand myself.
September 26, 2006 at 2:48 am
PS
For your reading amusement. Just another testament that our government is run by a bunch of motherfucking devils that should be locked into a tank filled with radiation. Granted you cannot place blame for this on Bush, but let’s clap our hands together in accolades for never changing how this shit is dealt with. Yeah, guys, you cannot ACTUALLY PROVE the fact that your feet are clubbed and your hands are fused together because we radiated your ass. Just try it. Our laywers are the foundation of all law. And we will change the wording all we want to suit our needs.
http://www.vbdr.org/meetings/presentations/tampa/naav_atomic_veterans.pdf
September 26, 2006 at 3:12 am
Re: PS
Thank you for this.. I knew of this, albeit a bit close to home. It’s one of the causes that I hold dear.
And what do they get for their trouble? A deaf ear. It’s so bad.
I love my country… but I fear my government. And sometimes I really hate how ugly it can be.
September 26, 2006 at 2:59 am
oh..what i was talking about
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/454223p-382146c.html
September 26, 2006 at 3:09 am
Re: oh..what i was talking about
I read that and I about threw my monitor out the window. WTF are they ON out there?!??!? How could they *not* say that the air was toxic?!??! That was the very first thing I said – GET THEM MASKS NOW! (always the first responder… I look out for my brothers too. I’ll always have service of others first in my heart, my legacy I spose).
Somewhere, someone needs to draw a line between law and science. You can’t legislate science, just as you can’t legislate religion.. it don’t work. And SAYING that it works does not make it so. Do you know that until last week, I thought HIV testing was standard procedure with your physical? Not that I haven’t been tested, but um, HULLO!!! Common sense dictates that you TEST for this no matter what. But noooo… religion has to get in there.
BAH.
September 26, 2006 at 10:14 pm
Re: oh..what i was talking about
ah yes. honestly, even with the hints of hope at the end of that article, about it being some pre-draft to what is being actually ammended, I don’t believe anything good will come out of it. I mean, look at what went on with other radiological disasters. The government doesn’t take responsibility for things that will immerse it into debt…or mistrust. To aknowledge an error OFFICIALLY would mean that they would have to secede to direct responsibility, which is unfortunately a path to complete mistrust and a faster road to anarchy than anyone could imagine. That is their reasoning anyhow. I just wish someone would step up and say, yes, we fucked up. We radiated you guys and we are sorry. We didn’t tell you about what happened in the air on 9-11 and we’re sorry. Wouldn’t that be pretty fucking amazing? And I honestly believe we are on the path to our own destruction until someone says, enough already. Let’s stop bullshitting.
and yeah, katrina is a really great example unfortunately. how many times I have cried over that I cannot tell you. Spike Lee did an amazing documentary about it that just floors your fucking mind when you realize how bad they let things get.
And I truly believe that what happened with Katrina is exactly the type of thing that will happen again…within this next 5-10 years you are talking about. And people will be trapped. And they will be killed if they disobey whomever it is that decides to take control. Just like in New Orleans but on a wider scale. This is why I am in a mad rush to get my land and my farm together in the far off mountains in Colorado where people won’t think to go…I’ve got six years I remind myself often. And I need to relearn some target practice too. I don’t have enough faith in humanity to trust other people to do right by their friends strangers and family. And I feel like I already earned my ticket in to whatever kind of peaceful life that destiny affords me.
September 27, 2006 at 1:14 am
Re: oh..what i was talking about
*smooch* I hear ya. I hear ya. You echo my exact damn sentiments.
Well, I do what I can. I’m active politically, I vote, and I speak out. Not like, in public, but … I’ve changed a few minds, convinced a few to vote -> what else can I do? I can’t control anything but what I can.
Whydya think I was in such a fuss over that whole TRO bidness??? I couldn’t have a weapon! And they kept accusing us of it, even though we haven’t had one in ohhhhhhh 8 years! It’s an exceedingly long and painful story about what happened. *bleh* That’s one of the things that is gonna get me out of jury duty, I’m pretty sure. I’m a lifelong member of the NRA babeh! Thanks Grandpa. He taught me how to fire a weapon at 8 years old…and what he didn’t, the thuggies on the streets in Oaktown did. *shrug* I been around. You’d need a soap opera timespan to tell my stories. 😛
But that’s my exact plan, sweets… I know exactly, well, within 350 sq. miles, that I want to live. It must have a natural water supply & caves. I have a link at work that has information on plots for sale all over the Rockies. I’ll email that to you – I’ve got Jury Duty though, so I dunno when I’m gonna get back, so remind me. 🙂
*hug* Like I said.. we have to work together.
Oh, my. I finished Conservatives Without a Conscience by John Dean today. Very enlightening book. It explains a LOT, especially of what I have been through and seen throughout the years. And I learned some things about myself, and my party… And I just gotta say, I ain’t one of dem. Dear Gott, those people in Congress and the Administration today are NOT Conservatives… hell, they aren’t even Republicans. Ugh. I started another series of letters today in the Jury Lounge. Again… what else can I do? 🙂