Just a few notes.

Got out of the hospital this week. After having a stroke right the day after surgery, discovered by some seizures that took everyone by suprise. The MRIs I’ve had in years past were never those targeted to the head, so they found another fun divet while perusing my brain area. Another stroke, much larger and supposedly more damaging, that careened in sometime within the last year. Because I didn’t know when it happened, and, because I am obviously not retarded, the only long term effects seem to be on my short term memory and the perpetual numbness in my arm (with this last one anyways). Somehow I managed to kick ass in Jeopardy last night, so E and I joked that perhaps I am now smarter. Regardless, I am on seizure medicine 3 times a day. I also got Cozaar (spelling?) added to the mix as they are pretty sure it’s Marfan’s I’ve got.

So yeah. Now my whole aorta is dacron attached to a metal thing at the heart. I’m on more medicine. It costs lots of money. Eddie and his roommate set up a fund to help me out and assist with these medical expenses, pretty funny when one of my own friends who owes me $40 is apparently too good to pay me back. Regardless, it’s pretty incredible that everyone who has donated except a dozen or so I do not know, most being friends of E; while there are Francis and some friends of Francis and Dana and Anne, Jennifer and Babs who have helped previous to this, but the rest of ’em? I have no idea. I do find it incredible that it was E’s roommate who came up with the idea–we’ve only hung out twice! I even saw my face on some online rock zine. I even got some help from Ireland! One thing’s for sure, any help anyone can muster would not be turned away. The expenses are insane, as I’m sure you could imagine, health insurance or not.

I am in the most ridiculous amount of pain you could imagine. I will pay for sitting here typing this with several pain pills. My sternum got only cut down 3/4 of the way, starting much higher than the sternum cracks before, so I gather that the pull and stretch is responsible for the majority of the pain now. I forgot to ask them to cut it all the way down to save me the pain of the bruise, but I was scared shitless anyways.

Part of that little stroke out part involved the Doctor calling E to tell him they almost lost me and he might have to come down and say goodbye. Of course they never told me that…I didn’t find out until I got home. My chest tube scars have turned into the face of an alien, two big bulb eyes and slit mouth. I’ll get a picture for you one day, as it’s pretty funny.

I woke up post stroke in the ICU, feeling not so bad. Come to find out Shali had just finished working on me. Without everyone’s prayers and his work, it would have been my last party in the ICU, that’s for sure.

Coming up, months of recovery. I’m getting a home health aid to go with my visiting nurse. They come to my house to steal my blood. I would do anything to fast forward 1 year to not have to go through all of this pain. When I go back to the surgeon, I am getting that picture of my heart they promised me. Creepy but cool. How many people get to see their own hearts, after all?

And if anyone visits here from Myspace. You kick ass for helping me. Seriously. I will be thanking you personally soon. But thank you. Coming from someone who is always always been the giver, it’s amazing to turn around and actually receive help. Every time I think about it, I cry.

ps. sneezing hurts. a lot.