I know I should be making titles more interesting than that. I did fail like a true champion yesterday. I woke up actually screaming because the headache I got crippled me for the first part of the day almost entirely. I didn’t even bother tweeting so much-it was a paralyzing migraine that actually had me throwing water back up into the cup I drank from, which was super fun and amusing of course. It’s possible it was just dehydration since I am not great at drinking it at sea level at all.

I did hit about 900 steps yesterday which I think is great. He wasn’t into helping me so much with the dog which sucks but whatever-the day before I hit over 11k today I hit 10,204 so far so now I can crawl into bed. KIDDING. Dinner I need to make here in a bit. I need to fashion next week’s plans w/workouts. Tuesday will be a weigh-in but I haven’t hit 10k enough to make a big dent but the Tuesday after maybe we will see some progress. Right now I have been taking the dog with me on every adventure outside–it certainly seems a safer option that way.

I am getting pretty anxious about everything here in this country and would love nothing more than a way out. Not sure where, you just know this is not the place. I sometimes try to entertain this idea that we will figure shit out here and be able to afford to buy something even with all of my medical bills, but let’s be real–the only person who semi-entertains me on that idea is my birth-father. I think he hasn’t found the space in his brain to tell me to keep dreaming, whereas my own father left me with the “shit in one hand, wish in the other and see which one fills up faster” idea to understand life’s possibilities. This was well before my heart surgery stuff, so you better believe I had nothing but pure support to have nothing.

Do I feel better for the few days this week I hit over 10k steps? Yes. Yes I do. How is my face? It’s a face, but it is as soft as a baby butt which I didn’t have to use a clarisonic to achieve. Now if I can somehow find it in me to not drink and cut down all the sugar I might actually come out of this by May a prettier healthier person.

Oh yes, and they finally called about the missing CT scan they were supposed to have me do in November, so things are just a little delayed. I had it in the hospital one of the times I was in so all is good now. Not sure anyone really has the space to give a shit too much regarding relationships between surgeons and patients right now–they used to be super invested in me but when everyone is sick, who really gives a shit? I don’t know but as I have been writing in my other site–I do not feel great about it.

So there she is. I swear I have photos. I will stick them here only because I want to give Facebook less business so my instagram is almost empty. Check those tomorrow.