It looks like the numbers have responded to me calling them out–of the roughly 195k cases considered closed, the numbers are now 71% recovered 29% dead. Still not the small .5 or 5 or whatever percent these liars said the mortality rate would be. I wish upon a star that they would be honest with us, but you know what they say about wishing, or rather what my dad did—wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster.

Now I have absolutely read the different realities people are living in accordance with their political views and the ignorance that leads people also left us with the dumbest and least empathetic and ill-prepared President we have ever had. And so there is probably no hope for America. We will likely lose a few million before this thing is done because I am convinced part of America has a death wish, and part of it will suffer from the death wishes and ignorance running rampant in one part of America. I really do wish we would separate into the working vs non working parts. It is absolutely true part of America suffers from stupidity and projection–the true takers have always been the red states which is why I avoid most of those places–there’s something very backwards about living in a place which depends on you to die to make budget shortfalls. I think of all of the over 65’s dying who will no longer collect social security, medicaid and SNAP benefits and I can just imagine the giddy smiles on red state senators and congressman that the money will eventually show the neglect was more than worth it to their bottom lines. And with a country so obsessed with money, that is the only success many will see as valuable.

What a pathetic species we really are though–and the behavior people are exhibiting now definitely shows to me that people are unwilling and really incapable of change in any really meaningful way, so climate change, yeah, we’re screwed.

This morning on the news people were eating in diners with masks on. Does this make sense? Um. No. Then again the local gyms, being full of the dumbest people around have decided to suggest a safe way to workout in a class would be to wear the mask at the beginning of class, and take it off when you are sweating and spitting and breathing hard. I know this sounds like a joke, but it isn’t. And it is precisely why you cannot trust anyone to have more common sense than you do, and makes me nervous for any interactions Don might have once he is home–he is one of those people who pushes back reflexively to the rules and just doesn’t get it unless he gets hard slapped against the face sometimes-something that of course pisses me off, but also is one of the endearing qualities I liked. It’s just right now that such a whatever attitude could kill us both so it’s a lot more serious than just appreciating his rebelliousness.

He convinced me people don’t like reading and would prefer to see me speak this online over write it out. I guess we will check that out soon. My editing skills are likely non existent especially right now mostly because I don’t care that much to do it right–it’s still energy I would absorb better with a physical demonstration, damn you coronavirus. You stole my Word Press class I had to cancel, my sewing series, a second painting class. I was doing stuff, dammit.

Right now I have to manage my other projects and no, the dog picture is not done because I have been cleaning and organizing for Don to come back which is actually pretty therapeutic–and takes a lot of effort. I might might do a before and after success photo though it was worse before I started, as most things are. BTW–I did put my instagram photo up for decodeanna–baby steps, everyone, baby fucking steps.

I did quit smoking weed except for one half joint a day. One at night, by the time I am half done, it’s time to pass out, and the second half the morning after. Just took my blood pressure after smoking a bit–92/49. Usually, and I mean usually, it is much much higher than that. I am almost surprised too, as I did check a few right wing papers and saw some insane commentary praising Trump which seemed a little crazy given the obvious incompetence that has led us here. I did not go on Facebook, that I needed to take a break from as it got stupid there for a while–but I don’t plan on going back until I build the two sites, or really I need to build more, I just need a really good tutorial on how to do it most effectively because I have content galore. But no more drama mined from terrible online sources, there is certainly no point to that.

Anyways. Sorry about that. One of my tangents, but–yes, we are going to try an experiment called, when my first vlog is done you will know it. And the rest of today will be a little drawing, a lot of cleaning and organizing and throwing shit away. I have a beautiful office work area that needs some love but right now it’s about the entire place.

What are we, almost 60 days in from our first reported death now? I am betting these charts won’t get updated in any real way for a few days given the sensitivity with our Administration right now. Best not to back them into a corner, because then it definitely could all go very very wrong. I really don’t think the numbers will magically disappear or go too low, but this next Winter I am sure will be dark for many–it is simply not something we can expect will be tolerated in a global world, the completed obedience of a species to that level of cooperation. It is counter human in many ways to be that aligned, so this might predictably be a small extinction event like we seem to need every few decades, and it’s been a while. We had enough forewarning to do a much better job than we seem to be doing, but maybe next time we will be so so ready as we will probably have also screwed ourselves out of land and birds and clean water largely, so that’s going to be an artificial way to keep the species going.

I am eating a few times a day. Nothing processed, always cooked with the exception of occasional prosciutto and bacon, nothing from a box except pasta and every once in a while mac n cheese, but that is the extent–everything is cooked and yummy–just the way I need it to be. I have gotten takeout maybe 3 times in the past few months for a meal–still drinking pomegranate juice and eating broccoli or spinach daily. I am trying to survive this life in one piece, dammit. This morning I am cooking myself bacon and turning two croissants into french toast. Maple syrup, butter 3 strawberries, done. I won’t eat it all but I will eat the best parts. Today I didn’t get my iced coffee so the sugar won’t be as crazy as it usually is and today is a long walking day anyways.

I hope it is okay for us, but ultimately we have to learn to be better human beings–if we don’t get that lesson at the end of this, there might be no hope left.