I have been playing with this idea of writing the fictional account of what life could have been like had we had competent leadership during this time, but I feel like it would maybe be too early and slightly depressing considering the state of affairs we find ourselves in.

And truly, to be honest, it’s not the world that has lost its collective mind, it’s actually just our country. It’s a little depressing to recognize this instant gratification culture we find ourselves in has left us very ill prepared to, as a group anyways, understand you cannot just get what you want because you want it.

Now, I will relent things are not as bad as they could be, given I quit my job 5 months ago and we are still fine. This is Don’s doing and if I did not have him, I am sure I would have had to align with another person or family or group in order to survive this, which is something I have learned to do with this illness dominating so much of my life over the past two plus decades.

Now, with me saying that, I will also add that we are incredibly fortunate right now that he went into the field he did–secure video teleconferencing, which clearly has some big implications with regards to need right now. We just found out a certain authorization he would need to work all over the world anywhere he did indeed get. So–he is going to apply to a job in Hawaii and/or possibly one in Germany. This will likely result in us leaving Colorado by the end of the year, which is perfectly fine to me given the entire initial motive for me moving here, getting to know that family, is an expired offer, I guess you could say.

Now it’s been a few years we have stayed past that unwelcome door shut in our face, but–I am pretty proud of us. We have done a massive massive arc trying to keep our heads above water and our income has just shot right up over the past 2 years. Now, I do think that my maternal blood family literally driving us out of our home did heavily influence and encourage that, which I do have a lot of gratitude for–and it’s why I am not focused on caring about reconnecting or hating or sending them any ill-will. I do hope they do well, just like I hope everyone does well with the exception of some key hateful political figures–but–my own ingenuity in paying that guy on Fivver to redo Don’s resume after they did that was huge, as was me forcing him to finally address the tax situation I did before we even left the last place we lived–and the volunteering of one of my friends to help us remedy that child support debt–I mean, I can trace every step, and every movement we made which brought us to a point where we are, and allowed us to dream of big things and possibly finally get there. I mean, at the end of this all we might be able to have a real wedding in Hawaii and invite the small handful of people who didn’t abandon us–that’s probably a smaller group than many have–but–big circles often leave people high and dry sometimes.

Anyways–that special authorization he got is HUGE HUGE HUGE. HUGE. And it was the news I never was convinced we would get, but we did. And in a world where a lot of things are falling apart, it’s nice to have some great news to share.

Now the biggest keys are–keeping him safe and me safe. Right now I hope that is going to be easier done and said–and I am a nagging jerk on him which I know he hates but I am so so suspicious sometimes of periods of great that I am just always waiting for the trap door to fall from under when things get too good.

I know some of you read this. Whomever you are. I cannot see who or from where, but I see some traffic. Thank you for coming to listen to me yell in my empty room. You guys are the best.