Man. The abortion argument has kind of torn a bit of my soul out lately. I have found myself wondering why everyone feels so very comfortable bestowing judgments down on people who really didn’t ask their opinions anyways. Between that and the inordinate amount of time people are spending admonishing and judging others while never using the same judgment on their politicians who don’t want to provide basic health and human services to our communities but want to burden mother and child to a community which has no resources? Does anyone even see what you are doing? Has anyone thought themselves outside of the paper bag lately because it is lunacy that we think our judgment and the currency of that and promising nothing but prison to moms who might already have families is a sensible reaction. Don’t just trash one kid’s life, take the whole family down too right, you are so pro-life?

No but it’s just the doctors, don’t worry fuck the doctors they might have families, but so what? Come on now, everyone, this is beyond you and what makes you feel icky. Abortion is not a walk in the park but a terrible draining and flattening experience none of us is the same after, and at the end of the day, would feel a hell of a lot better if we weren’t always worried about judgment, scorn and notathing else offered but that every time. Nothing promised but judgment and scorn. Does that even make any fucking sense at all?

I am semi-afraid to log my story down which might be better relayed later with a giant glass of rose, but come on everyone. Sit down, those of you heavily advocating for forcing women to endure something you seriously enjoyed…imagine all the joy and beauty ripped out and replaced with hate, disgust, and agony for some of these women spiritually and even physically enduring a pregnancy they don’t want? Imagine the polar opposite of what you enjoyed enough to call it enduring? I have never experienced that level of disgust but I have never had a relative’s dick inside be or been raped by anyone I did not know and forced to carry a thing. I would have aborted any rapists’ babies of course but telling someone they have to be forced to endure a crime over and over because the currency of your judgment is worth more than their life and autonomy? Who the fuck are we to judge?

And that is why revealing yourself to the world even in the semi-anonymous way I do is hard to do. Because we all feel we have a right to judge. I judge women who want us to be incubators or who fight me on my points with easy flippant responses of, “you sound like you have mental illness.” I think that it’s nice that people want to think of all the potential loss of human life on this planet though we have greedily extinguished a bunch of it to further our own cause. It’s almost like we exist as hypocrites to continually remind ourselves and each other that we are just not worth saving at the end of the day.