Not exactly sleepless, I’ll admit. I was absent yesterday, reeling a bit from a discovery on Friday that a close relative had an aortic dissection and nobody told me–nobody thought to mention, though I guess I am not one to be seen as a comfort to most, I do have some actual experience to relay. Perhaps avoiding the discussion made it less real though I would assume it felt pretty fucking real at the time. At this point it appears my circles of comfort are still small, and I am not going to do much besides control my reactions to these things for now. I cannot make people feel a different way than they do–they own their own feelings and reactions the same way I do. And not all of us get it right, I suppose, our interpretations of things. She is still waiting for a gene test, but wow on the discovery.

I certainly try to understand–I try to look at all angles and motivations when I am trying to determine what the fuck is going on in a confusing situation. I do this even with politics–I read the far left the far right and lots of in betweens so I can understand motivations or at least that is always my intention when looking at an issue. I try to understand these things the same way a psychologist would, always trying to unearth the dark underbelly of people’s ego and emotion, which actually are the root cause of most of our bad decisions as people.

Tomorrow we try a new routine–early morning bloggery, some copywriting class progression, work, make Don dinner, and at the end of the day, as will be tonight in a minute, a dip in a book until I go to sleep. I cannot tell you how satisfying reading has become again for me…More on that, later.