Well here we are–freakin December and it’s another year gone. Progress this year? Um, there was the court thing, um….yes, I got married, put him on insurance, signed up for a bunch of classes on getting myself organized, drop shipping, and copywriting. I avoided a scam with Michael Force–I have learned actually a hell of a lot this year about some things and I certainly hope to use my knowledge to really move forward next year after I get done with the damn art projects. Oh I know you were just itching to see. Let me just remind you all though at one point I was prolific and had skills–right now I do these once every year or two. The last thing I did was my sister’s wedding invitation a few years ago–the one thing I could not afford to go to.

So–here is the puppy, Crash, in all his glory. I am not overly proud of this, as at one point I had developed a great drawing skill I am heavily out of practice with, as you can see. But, I can still draw better than a bunch of people, so therein lies my justification.

Now the next thing is a barn. I am really good doing people’s houses and usually can reproduce a photo pretty well…but the next thing I am doing…well it might make me feel like an idiot that I have not ever tried to make any money as the next thing she definitely has me do because I can do it. I can do houses, hell I have considered doing the mega mansions around here even seasonally but–not sure there’s any money in any of that ultimately as–well as I discovered recently–wanna know what the LEAST charitable state is? FLORIDA. With all of those retired people doing nothing–man I am starting to realize trying to count on people’s charity at retirement is not the way to float the boat–get them when they’re young and can sign the checks without jerking the pen around. So I look around my neighborhood–and believe me the average bedrooms per house is probably 4 for the smaller and 12 for the bigger ones and I always wonder how it is we are still building bigger.

However–there is a house near the botanic gardens I would love to have–and I would have other people live there who wanted a pretty and sweet life with all the lovely things living in a house like that would involve. I sometimes do walk by places like this realizing their taxes are greater than my salary–and other things a half a million seems like a bargain. The botanic one is probably 10, max…but when you are talking millions there’s not a hell of a lot of spread between 6-10 at least mentally.

I am getting one of those books to keep me sane and organized because–almost dying a bunch of times? Well I guess if you had a life beforehand the investment would be in returning to a sense of normalcy or set goals that might seem achievable at the end of the day. But I didn’t really learn a hell of a lot of discipline of any progress besides work to survive. I got thrown right into–hey you wanna know what adulthood is? IT IS DYING. You get to die first and then figure it out. And hey so what if you get set up with a life full of doors shut in your face–figure it out! That is what life seems like a lesson in a fuck of a lot–the figure it out as you go–and given I had exactly no guidance beyond the initial conditioning–well no wonder I am a hot mess at 41.

And now…now in some ways I survive to work–and that is the mantra I am not going to end next year out with–no way, no how. The poverty stops now. I realize, after seeing some who’ve had just a fraction of the surgeries that I have and have ended up on disability–that I lived in the right cities and places to ensure I would never not have an option for work. I have been fortunate enough to not have anything besides strokes to contend with–because unless you are just a high strung terrible person–helping people on the phone is one of the easiest jobs you can have, well, let’s qualify that–as long as you can see that is.

Be well lovely peeps. I really wish nothing but goodness for you all.