Eh, so I fucked up a few days. I still wonder, as you probably all have noticed I have no ads…so no real reason to track my traffic. But I do wonder how many people think about this blog every once in a blue moon and check it out. Maybe you all have gotten bored over the years. No fucking idea but I am about to be a lot more interactive. Funny that the girl who had no problem posting all manner of ridiculous photograph for years now has a shyness now.

Maybe I know I am not cute and 23 anymore. Maybe I never was as cute as I thought I was. Maybe I am doing o-fucking-kay considering the level of bullshit I have gone through in general life shit and then the other garbage in the title of the blog. I know I have never really been one comfortable with editing save the shit random eye bag, pimple or line. I mean…given I was one of the first out here posting all manner of self portrait for a time I should either be really good at editing or know what to do…but honestly. I am like every woman, totally dissatisfied with what I see in the mirror. Totally not into re-seeing myself all the time and maybe the makeup selling will make me feel a little less ugly, for lack of a better word. Don makes me feel loved and all the good shit you want…but. I just don’t quite get any of the same attention I used to get…granted I am over 40 years old but aren’t there instagram ladies older than me? Who yeah, probably take a fuck of a lot of photos…but shit. I cannot even tell you how many I went through before I found two I was okay with…this is one. Maybe like 20 photos. My god one could get really sick of seeing your own face after what, like 5? haahah.

I really am trying to get over it…hell. If I am ever going to be in a position to be looked up to I better get the fuck on with things and stop being so insecure about the shit that matters the least in the grand scheme of things.

So–here it is, at least a photo…one day, video, once I get over my shit voice, that is.

10/4