I cannot even explain the frustration and deep pull of my heart in my chest right now. It is truly a heavy fucking weight right now, and is probably not the best thing for me to be enduring right now either.

I had an aortic stent surgery a month or so ago…and getting everyone to give me the go ahead for work and for reimbursement for my STD (that’s Short Term Disability) has been a disaster that has likely contributed to the dog being missing from my life today. Trying to heal from that is one thing–trying to heal my broken heart is quite another.

He went missing on Tuesday, and we discovered it driving around calling his name, within an hour of his escape. I went home and put a Craigslist ad up right away as I didn’t have my phone, having sacrificed it earlier in the month after it refused to charge. Not wanting to upgrade and get myself another two years with this phone company, I have to wait for the fucking check so I can buy one retail. So I had no cell phone to show anyone, just asked people around if anyone had seen him, neglecting to go to the new age pet store, as I haven’t found their products work so I don’t even normally think about it. That was mistake one, I suppose.

Mistake two was made by the Dumb Friends League, who normally are employed with ensuring that the dogs are registered to the new owners at adoption which was over a year ago now. Unfortunately for me, due to some clerical error–some neglect on someone’s part–he was never changed from his puppy owner. So his owner of microchip record was a woman named Jeannette Martinez…so guess what happened when the nice man who found him took him from the pet store to the vet’s office? That’s right, they called that woman. And she came. And she took my dog with the original intention of dropping him off at the Maxfund shelter, which was just fantastically closed that day. She was told to take him somewhere else, which never happened, and she has still to respond to me or anyone who’s sent messages on my behalf about what is going on at all. And yesterday, when I went to the Dumb Friends League to inquire about Duke and the missing microchip information–the office they needed to consult was also closed.

Mistake three was made by Firehouse Vet, who allowed this woman to take my dog home with her, even knowing she was not the current owner and had been missing from his life for two years. Obviously he recognized her, but she has no idea the life he has now. He sleeps with us, as he is in our “pack.” He sits with us on the couch, he loves with us, chews on us and is truly attached to Don. He was outside for a few hours because I am in no shape to go on long walks given I am healing from aortic surgery. Truly the way this all went down makes me wonder what kind of horrible person I must have been in a past life…because this one I am poor, I help other people to my detriment, and people give about 5% of a fuck about me as I give about them. No kids, fine, I will learn to deal with it and bring other great things into life…training Duke was not an easy task, not at all. But I loved him even in his stubbornness and feel totally stolen from. By life and by something I consider extremely unethical–the taking back of a dog who was someone else’s family you gave rights up to years ago. Because of a clerical error by the Dumb Friends League. And a staff at a vet’s office that seems to be incredibly lacking in any critical thinking.

Fuck you, life. I am not cool with any of this shit. Not a bit. People keep telling me I am reaping good karma. No no–I am waiting for all of that help and concern that I already have for my fellow humans to turn back to me–I don’t hurt people. I help everyone I can, with advice or any resources I do have or know about. Look at this: And consider my plight…WTF. Click the link to see the flier. And as of 3:48 pm MT-Not a word from this lady.

Duke