there’s no place like home…really

Wow. What a difference a location can make…

Finally home. Finally. That might have been one of the worst weeks to plan my visit, for all of the natural disasters and all. First an earthquake, then Irene. As I told Kristen twenty minutes after I landed there “I am NEVER coming BACK HERE AGAIN!” I’m kidding…of course I will, I will, but hopefully on better terms next time. She was cracking up when she saw that–love that girl and her observations. But I landed in chaos and it never really subsided until I got on the plane to leave. I have stories, many many, but they aren’t going to all make it here.

I know I was maniacal with the first people I talked to when I arrived here…shooting out stories and words faster than they probably absorbed it. But I also appreciate getting slammed by phone calls almost immediately after I arrived back in Denver. It’s nice to know your presence (or lackthereof) is noticed. After all of that bitching about missing my friends, you guys really know how to make a girl feel welcome. So, thank you. For serious.

And though I don’t think enough time has elapsed from me living there to really feel a complete detachment, I have been outside myself enough to feel the difference in my life there versus here. I was sitting in the backyard with Lisa…and told her I didn’t really feel like I had really left, since everything was so incredibly familiar. But I also felt an immense relief as well…a relief that I didn’t have to do all of that anymore, like a massive weight has been lifted not off just my shoulders, but also my head to be number one, to beat everyone else. That I didn’t have to work my ass off, never have time for sleep and always be running running running. I mentioned this to another east coast Colorado transplant who called me from Brooklyn last night, and she cracked up, in total agreement. But it’s true. East Coasters are stressed out because we are always running running running…there was not one day that I was there that I didn’t attend to business in at least 5, 6 different locations or people, minimum. And the days flew by, and before you knew it, 8 days had been sucked into the NY/NJ east coast ether.

I got in the car last night and told my mother all of the shit that went down–from Lisa packing scuba gear in E’s apartment to losing her mind telling me and Kristen that we were essentially “not allowed to be fucked up during a national disaster.” (what better time you ask? So do I) I just found myself telling her as I always had…chill the fuck out dude, with an added you need to get out of here. It is terrible for you. Anyways, I told my mother how fussy we all were because we got Cnn’ed to death–scared to bits that we would blow off into the water even though NYC is located strategically as a dam of sorts so if it went in a hurricane, it would protect Jersey City–the irony is not lost on those who know.

My mother has visited me and lived my life for weeks at a time over the past many years in Brooklyn and Jersey City. She told me everyone was angry because “they needed a break.” She then told me about how she would talk to her friends when she would get back from her visits and be completely fascinated and disturbed that all we seemed to do out in NY was survive. We always had so much to do, but rarely did we seem to have time or anything to do things we really enjoyed. She mentioned we are all just surviving and never got to really spend anytime enjoying anything, savoring any experience. People here are active, they exercise their bodies. There people exercise their brains and patience. I have a lot, but not as much as I would like to have, that’s for sure.

But with my slick relief came some other hearty realizations. I am done “just surviving.” My money habits I honed or rather destroyed in NY need to change and pronto-like. If you are comfortable, you spend everything on living. A good amount of disposable income to have there is maybe $100 a day to really do it up. If you have $50, your nights will be cut short, but they will be generally unmemorable. I spent on the lower end of that…but I also had dinners made for me in celebration of my arrival and departure and did go out with Lisa to enjoy life every single day I was there. The real key is to be so busy you have no time to spend your money. I did that, too, but when things slowed down, dollar bills were flying out of my ass again.

Ps. The altitude? My bike ride nearly kicked my ass last night while I went for a spin with my mother, she all pink and white bike and white streamers flying in Wash Park…I was home all of 20 minutes and that is all I wanted to do. Nothing more nothing less, just a bike ride.

Here is a photo montage of my adventure, complete with some of the characters…Irene makes a late appearance, and just spilled water all over the place,