Moving as much as I have has instilled a pretty unsettled state of being much of the time. I have lived in so many spaces, buildings, on so many different streets in too many different neighborhoods that I guess I am always looking for the thing that feels the best, feels like home. I have tried to manufacture this feeling artificially with every type of aid available, from the prop boyfriend to liven up the space to displaying specific styles, art, etc. This little cave I have constructed here is made of stuff unlike any other place I have staged to be my life. I call it cave because it does remind me of my own little fortress of sorts, impermeable to the outside world except for when I open the windows to gaze out at the church and mountains to the front or neighbors swirled on all sides. Not like city neighbors, given I am pretty sure that in Jersey City I had no less than 50-100 people per block which were technically my neighbors. Here it’s a little more spread out than that, so much so that you rarely actually see people out and about. It’s like the thing of my nightmares that way. I used to have a few serial nightmares I might have written about before, but one of them involved waking up out of bed to walk around my home and my neighborhood, but there were never any people. There was just big bird’s nest (yes, I am talking Sesame Street here) in every room but no people. Anyways yes, off that tangent. Those dreams always involved into worse than that but I am not going there now.
Anyways, back to the castle, I mean cave. I am done, finally with the most arduous part of the whole remodeling thing I do in every apartment I move into. This is another thing I can thank my parents for on top of imparting the know-how to get this stuff done, but also the picky finicky angle of my brain that sees new spaces as different spaces in my head after I move in. I could never imagine wanting to move into something I knew I was unhappy with and just deal with it. This place I am in is admittedly the only one I actually went into physically, but it’s also at least 1000 square feet just upstairs alone. I have windows on every side, with the two biggest west facing. My east facing has an orchid sitting happily there. I am going to turn into an orchid queen and just get a ton of them. But yes, the painting is largely done and I did pay attention to my landlord’s instruction about dark colors and I think reds specifically and painted the kitchen a sky “blue gossamer”, the living room “moon violet” and “flowing water.” Now if they had called these colors, purple necco and moldy concrete I would not have picked them up. My bedroom has “serenity” in it, warm sun. I painted all of the ceilings except the bathroom, office and entry and hallway ceilings so far. But those are considerations for later on as the palette of dog crap gold-brown and army green are now removed to make way for a pretty happy, color-friendly place. White walls seem to never stay white in my presence, but I can admit there are spaces better left alone.
So now what? How about restarting on the projects and things I need to start on. I also have an interview this week with my favorite store ever, one I don’t want to openly discuss here given the public nature of possibly working in some kind of management or supervisory role would basically mean I could never talk about it at all, but let’s just say I spent most of Saturday night sitting on my couch crying because I realized everything I knew and know is getting shaken down to its very foundation and I have had to trade the safety nets of my friends in for the safety nets of family. I know this sounds crazy given one’s natural disposition is to turn to the family when in a time of need but my natural tendency is to turn to friends to make me feel better because they have always been the ones who I trusted to be able to do that. E called me in the midst of my cry fest and said some great things that made all of the difference in the world and I felt immediately comforted, which is exactly what I needed at that time. The guy has been saving me since 2005 I think. He then called me yesterday to check in on me and make sure I had gotten some perspective and even gave me the friend pep talk with his insistence that I was a great person who would make friends as soon as I found a job and started being out in public instead of sequestered in my cave. So the job might make all of the difference, yet it’s in a, yeah, mall. A mall. Whatever. It’s a good company with some other sister stores I dig, so if it’s meant to be, well it is. Otherwise it is still traveling in the direction of just working on the business full time, which is going to require a lot of discipline that I seem to find when I have no time at all to manage anything, squeezing in a few hours here to do this or that. Working full time and having to plan time for everything else is a better prospect entirely than working independently on my stuff because people learn how to totally disrespect you and your time because it is seemingly endless and free. And I am not good with that, really at all.
“No one is useless who has a friend, and if we are loved we are indispensable.” Robert Louis Stevenson
-from a book sitting open on my table this morning.
May 16, 2011 at 11:25 pm
Friends and work–two good things 🙂
It’s great to hear you are having some good luck in finding work, I agree its so healthy to have that structure, it fosters a climate for productivity, as long as one remembers to not pitch the battle throwing all energies into accomplishing and to save some time for relaxing and enjoying life…
I finally unearthed the electronic copy of my resume from Gmail yesterday (I had, very shamefully, given up after combination of losing access to the computer that has the originals and one too many rejections from restaurant jobs) and feeling like an ancient person come from the land of MS Word 97 I did a tedious reformat…it was off on margins but I fixed it, thank goodness, after receiving some encouragement to apply for green industry work from a gardener friend
I can’t let myself be deterred from the work force any longer. I have no right to complain about being unemployed, or say I’m looking for work and then not make a serious effort. After getting sick and losing my two grunt glam coffee bar jobs, then having a rough time getting my foot back in the door, I found what I thought was my dream job, only to lose it because of inflexibility on both my and my employer’s part, on pretty bad terms w/ my boss too (I basically told him to suck an egg because I wouldn’t sell one of his products and he wouldn’t let me be a successful salesman with the products I knew were better and healthier). Since then I’ve acted like a dumb animal too hurt to find my way home. I trained to be a legal proofreader, but the people who trained me 1) relied on their students lying on their resume and faking contacts to get in the door, and 2) basically screwed me out of even doing that by not allowing me to take a test at one of the companies their staffers sent me to because, I suspect, they were afraid I was going to accidentally do too well and pass a test that everybody fails. I’m not good at working slowly to make the clock pass… I probably could have learned but always would have felt a little seedy gaining employment by blatant misrepresentation…
After that I couldnt bring myself to go through the misery of never getting called, and alleviated the guilt of accepting failure by occassionally applying for foodservice work after swearing I never would again. I toyed with the idea of culinary school, but for some reason did not finish that thought either. I still want to go back to school but I feel like I have to prove myself as a functioning adult before I look into being an adult seeking higher education.
Getting rejected over and over again sucked! But I think the wounds from that are healing… all I needed was a little push in the right direction…. It feels good to have hope for financial stability, I have to say that nothing could really make me happier than believing I will support myself again, and doing something I believe in, which I feel like is the only way I can really be at peace with the world…
this makes me feel better about myself than I have been able to say in a long time
I hope there will be more good news coming for both of us on this front 🙂
On the emotional tip, Ive also been doing some crying past the few weeks…my grandma died, and I hadn’t seen her or sent her a card or anything in months (although I did get to talk to her on Halloween and we shared a good moment); I turned thirty-two and now officially feel separated from my youth; and then today I saw a rodent that had been mangled for sport and placed ceremoniously on the sidewalk. Why?