just when you think things can’t get any better…they certainly do. and did.

the extremes that i have experienced in my short little life are pretty interesting. the shitte-est of shitty situations and the loveliest of the best.

i have this newfound ability to write and dream and sleep. and i did sleep dreamingly last night for the first time (in memory!) in my new life (breath breathe breathing free) last night.

i got the dog, moved everything i own and need some kind of help or push or assistance to get it all done. i got a couch and River and I had to take my whole door frame out to get it in my home. i still need a bookcase and a bedframe (i got a posturpedic queen size on friday delivered today) and an entertainment center, tv, and coffee table. I still need to throw some stuff out.

and i have a lovely to spend my time with–a gem of a human..a “for real” gem. I was at one point trying to navigate the rationality of what was right when, am I a total jerk, a heartbreaker, a life spoiler? And I realize…that with feelings there is no such thing as a rule book governing these things. It’s my heart. MY heart. You’re going to tell me what when where and how to feel because I am “acting inappropriately or you’re unhappy” with MY decisions. Nuh-uh, no way, no how. I can definitely confirm I have handled things in the least delicate manner as possible. Simply through avoidance and because I have a meddling gayman and brother of a good friend who decided to give information over to E because they are a little too obsessed with drama. Luckily E came away from that not hating me, but warning me that both of these human beings were not to be trusted, and were far from friends.

Not that I needed any of that confirmed. I don’t like hurting people so I am sad that he is in so much pain because of this. But I am not hiding or lying for anything or anyone right now. I feel like a person for once. But i’ll go into that more later.

as it is now…I am just chillin at my computer at work…doing my own little happy dance. the good stuff I am referring to I didn’t want to stick here…too many other references to tangle.