There’s so much to say. I almost don’t know what to say. This is ok–things are starting to move. People are starting to move, including me, phasing in and out of direction–it’s hard to know where you’re gonna land when you jump up. I definitely have not expected things to go any way but out. I suppose this is a safer alternative than my normal mode of travel. I also had not realized how screwed up I was about shit in my life, including relations, until recently. This is something (my person) that is going to need correction, because I really need to make it happen for myself. I have a lot I am going to accomplish sitting in my giant apartment by myself. I am not getting cable or anything luxurious like that–I simply don’t need it. But I will need to get a Bose wave radio ipod thing like the one I bought E for myself. That way I can be freshly injected with music and start really getting it. Painting, writing, getting it all done.

I am going to start doing some story writing for things that are a bit more innocent than you would think I would be attracted to depicting. This is what I want anyways. The reasons why will only come out later on (if ever). A girl still has to be a bit mysterious, doesn’t she?

I found my place. A pretty giant place for one little girl. I don’t have enough of anything to fill it up. Pretty fancy pants if you ask me. I am excited it has carpet, though it is ghetto short carpet. But in the winter there is nothing better than tootsies on carpet than frozen floor. I think pups will like it too. Sun Sun Sun. I need to get a bed, a little couch and a table to eat on. No more coffee table dinners I think. Must sit at a table. I plan on making good food for myself again. This means I need visitors to help me eat it all. Maybe you can visit if you are good.

I have been hooked up, so not to worry. I have never not had to worry. I am a worry machine. It’s what I do.

Maybe now I can worry about nothing but letting it (not the shit) flow. I have had several people quote that to me recently. I am also thinking that I might be a bit more open in locked posts which will go up in the future.

My horoscope said I was about to hit a hot and romantic time in my life. Riiiiiight. It also told me I should consider some major appearance changes. Should I go back to blonde or paint this dark chestnut with varying shades of brown? I am actually tan with freckles (as weird as that is). Makeup has been shelved a bit. I can rock any hair color. But brown. Or blonde. Or red. Which way do I go? I am still trying to grow it so no chop chop for now. Maybe someday off into the future.

Maybe I will go to the wig store after work and try some on and see.