I’ve never seen myself much along the lines of a heart breaker, though I certainly have some in my past. Along with the time and space that I was able to attain to produce an actual seizure, I had the time and space to evaluate the people around me in my life. And though I do have some amazing friends and know a lot of people who do care about me, I have started to realize that I am missing something. I mean, it’s not as if I just woke up the other day and realized “this life is not for me”. It was definitely something that grew and changed and morphed…and it never stoppped morphing into something I shouldn’t have allowed to happen.
I am a really spirited independent kind of girl–bad at letting other people tell me what to do (usually that is), and bad at letting situations control me (unless there are aspects worth recognizing). More importantly, the dogs and E have been such a huge part of my life for so long–change was not easy to address in the way that I needed to.
But while I was in California and was able to see relationships around me which embodied a certain ideal…and as I was able to start opening my own mouth and head and eyes to myself. And the writing came out. Well. It started to show itself for what it really was. And it was the me that could be screaming her head off at the me that was saying…”What is wrong with you, dude?” My grandmother and her mother both had breast cancer. I have already been told I have uppity chances because of the radiation. And I am actually cool with that–those will be the years I get on the roller coaster and do all that, “you shouldn’t be doing this” stuff. That sickness I can imagine in a much more realistic manner I think because of the illness I already have suffered through. And for real? My life is more realistically going to be affected by those kinds of things. I buy myself time in the beginning to shave it off the end. That’s the shit. Whatever…
In any case. I have ended the relationship that I had with E in the way that I had it. He and I no longer will be living together nor dating. But we will be friends. Because that is what we are best at anyways. There are some people who will most assuredly be like, WHAT?! Did she fry her brain with the seizure, and maybe others who were able to see it a bit differently. One thing is for sure, I won’t let it destroy me, obliterate my soul or ruin my heart from loving anyone ever again. It was just a necessary move for me to make to feel like I was really moving forward with my life.
And as of next week. It is school. And some work. And school.
Everything else can bite me.
August 27, 2008 at 5:59 pm
I love you Francis. I’m here if you need me, ok? XOXO
August 27, 2008 at 6:11 pm
I know
thanks Francis.
I just feel sickly. This is all the “shit this sucks it’s no fun”–the part of life I needed to be innocently prevented from seeing and experiencing.
love you.
August 27, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Re: I know
It is hard but it will pass—I promise.
In the meantime, there are a lot of people (myself included) who love you very much and want to see you succeed and be happy in life.
Call if you need anything.
Love Always,
Francine XO
August 27, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Re: I know
thanks francis.
I just want to sleep for a few days and wake up and feel normal.
As it is I am a couch surfer extraordinaire. And tonight I literally don’t know whose couch I have.
bleh.
August 27, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Wow. We do need to catch up. I’m sorry- even if it’s you that ends it, it doesn’t make it hurt and less, and it still takes two for a relationship to fail- I know how that works.
Well, please let me know if you need a distraction- not that you aren’t busy enough, but if there’s something I understand well, it’s the pain of demise of an important relationship…even if you do plan to remain friends.
Hope you’re ok.
August 27, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Yeah,
Sometimes I like to pretend I am superhero strong and can deal with anything.
It is really hard to hurt people you care about.
But I am also not a rubber band dater who breaks up and gets back together a million times.
For me, it is all or nothing. And I fell short of that by a landfall this time around.
August 27, 2008 at 7:05 pm
I think once you do that dance of breaking up and getting back together once, it’s sort of like breaking the seal. Then, it becomes too easy. Sort of like has been said about killing someone. 😉
You were together a long time. No matter who initiated the end, you get used to someone being part of your daily existance and filling some kind of hole. You’ll be ok- it’s just going to take time and friends. People DO also take better stock of things when their life has been threatened as yours has been (by illness) on more than one occasion.
A relationship is supposed to bring out the best in both of you and be an enhancement to your life- not just a life jacket OR just an anchor. You’ll find what you’re looking for- Not knowing the whole story, I just think this a such a huge time of transition for the both of you, that this isn’t a huge surprise. 🙁
August 27, 2008 at 7:22 pm
yeah. once this feeling of wanting to throw up passes, I am sure I will be ok.
Thanks for your kind words. I definitely need and appreciate them.
August 27, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I’m sorry hun, I know decisions like that are very difficult to make and can be heart breaking, buy you have to do what’s best for you.
*HUG*
August 28, 2008 at 1:35 am
****hug**** Girrrrrl! I know how hard this must be for you. *sniffle* And I’m here if you need anything. I know it can’t be un-painful for crying out loud…but I know what it also takes to get to that point. I really hope that you guys are at peace. *HUG* If you need anything, you know where to find me.
Just don’t stress the work and school stuff tooo much, we don’t need a repeat! I wish I could blame my temporary outage on stress, but no. I’m just trying to relax as much as possible while I try to heal from my oral surgery. *sigh* Stress kills baby girl!
Put yourself first, take care of yourself first, and love yourself. *smile* That’s all we can do.
August 28, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Here’s to soft landings.