So in my efforts to keep cool, and remain relatively still in the wee
hours of the day (though the hours when most of you are hard at work) I
watched bull durham, one of those movies I had seen before but never
really watched. Me being the toddler baseball fan had an appreciation
for it I may have not had previously. But there was a quote at the end
that I enjoyed: “Life is great for those not blessed with
self-realization”.

And there is something to be said for that. I think it can be
paralyzing, one’s mind running rampant across rivers and valleys of
thought. Sometimes my self-realization is stunting, only to swerve me
in directions downward I don’t need to go. So this whole doing instead
of talking thing is getting interesting. Hiding pieces parts places I
have been and need to go. It should be interesting as the year winds
down. Very interesting. By the end there should be check marks where
three blank boxes were before. And if the mood strikes my fancy, maybe
a few more. Obviously unless the results are stellar I will never
discuss the process.

I did realize something stupid and kind of ridiculous in the grand scheme
of my life. Music had, at one point, taken precedence over everyone and
everything. I used to go to shows and rock out at every possible
second, my life layered with hundreds of songs sparkling my own brand
name soundtrack. For some reason, and it’s actually very bizarre given
my closer ties to people within, I have forgotten the music. I would
sit in silence in places where stereos and music were readily
available. Part of it was probably a little insecurity with having such
a close foot inside some doors to that arena and life and not feeling
as if it was about having fun. I have decided to take some of those
reigns back and start doing and experiencing my audible harmony maker
again. Which brings me to the musical recommendation forum I would love
to start. I have been all about MW lately, as there are not too many bands better live out there. But it’s
time to expand beyond the borders of my own experience. Last night
there was this beautiful clarinet player and dude with some kind of
mini-kick drum and a metal guitar plucking away in the subway. It was
this very strange take me back to the thirties music that made me uber
happy.

That is some of the music I want at my own wedding, someday.

In the spread of my apartment I sweat literal buckets. But at least I
can sit here naked and go to town. All while getting a tan.

all nudity aside. It’s time to start it up.