Well shit… the edges of the world have come undone, all in happy
preparation for the new year, or not. I have an ultra-sensitivity to
death which doesn’t merit a re-explanation, but holy bananas. I have
watched a few of those waves coming in and washing all of those people
away and given my interest in Thailand, and visiting there previously,
it just is kind of numbing that you could be happily shopping or
sleeping in your hotel room (as I often do on vacation) and get washed
away and drowned in a few minutes flat. Half of me thinks if I were
there I would have been able to swim it, but even as strong of a
swimmer as I am, I would have been slam dunked and drowned, no doubt. I
have only experienced the wrath of the ocean in a completely supervised
state of being, at Wellfleet, in MA, where the waves have this way of
towering over you, rolling you over, and slamming your body down into
the sand. It was the only time I felt the phenomena known as the
undertow, and felt absolute powerlessness at the wrath of the ocean.
The sadness and despair seem so unfair in places that have not really
had a lot at all in terms of the things that we enjoy. A piece of me
wants to fly out there and help in trauma counseling, or just do
something—but my life is a little too shredded and new to do anything
too worthy at this moment. How is one to help until they help
themselves and all that shit.
Regardless, my New Year’s started off with a bang. I gave E
my gift on Friday, which was a literal and metaphorical surprise, my
heart, wrapped up in words and song and music Bjorn and I almost clawed
each other’s eyes out to do.
But that’s okay, because no one has ever had it so nicely wrapped up
before. And we went out to dinner at Casimir, and then to Piano’s where
we chilled with each other and Mr. S, and all the other party
people. It was really nice, not too high-strung or crazy (I usually
work or fight on New Year’s so this one won out all others). Then we
traipsed to Brooklyn, drunkly entertwined, and woke up later on the
next day. Then we popped over to “Vorma” (ebonics, baby), got some food
stuffs, and then hopped back home. Magically I got to go to the Nets/
Knicks game at the garden, the second one I have ever attended
(basketball at the garden– I used to play, so I get it), watched the
Nets win, popped back to Jersey, bump bump bump. My dog, the irreverant
charmer, decided to pee on my bed, something I discovered too late to
fix, so we did the pretzel clutch on the red couch, which was a tight
squeeze since we are both 5′ 10, and I probably outweigh him by 10
pounds. Woke up at 7 something, threw my laundry in the dryer, pulled
the now comatose yummy off my couch and harassed him to bed.
Then off to Brooklyn, today. We stopped at this fish store to look at
the possibilities, but Eddie had this killer “Convict” fish, that would
eat all of his good ones. After watching this fish harass and maul the
other fish in the tank, I really felt as if he needed to be spanked,
literally, thrown off his balcony, or put in the freezer for a slow
death. While we were popping around I re-suggested we bring him back. So we
went back, packaged that bitch up, and took him back. Oh, poor John.
The little guy had no idea what was waiting for him at the end of the
road. Some 7 bigger fish decided to chomp down on his ass, and the
employees, though claiming hate for this type of fish, probably felt
like us watching the other fish tear his hardiest fist apart might not
be nice, so they switched his tank. He got a bunch and tried to say
goodbye, but John was nursing his wounds in a corner. Oh well. He
killed many, so it would be a rightful end.
Ah well. For all intensive purposes, my horoscope for this year
indicates it will be the best one ever. I have some plans in the works
that are super top secret and won’t be revealed until they are actually
completed, mainly because I jinx good stuff by spewing it out. The
garbage for the year has been cleaned up, and there is no better way to
start it off but with a clean slate.