hahaha. I don’t know how it is I woke up on the wrong side of the bed
today, but I have, and all kinds of pretty bullshit has been flowing
out of my mouth today.

First one. When I went to pay my bill for the gym, the nimrod gym
employee stood at the back of the gym and watched me stand there
pacing. So I walked out the door, and called him, asking, when exactly
is it okay to pay my bill? His response, disheveled and hurried, uh, I
didn’t see you. Me: I was in the orange jacket staring at you and then
I walked out. Him: Uh, I’m here now, you can pay it. I rambled on about
how that was bullshit, and then decided to spread the love and go back
in. So I paid the bill and went along on my way.

I get home and start cleaning out my vintage closet, layered with
ripped up vintage dresses and proceeded to freak out on my dog, who had
taken the liberty of completely shredding one of my vintage ball gowns
and several silk jackets. If I wasn’t trying to be so zen I would have
been tempted to do something very mommy dearest and lock her in the
bathroom. But that is a little bit, shall we say, over the top for a
silly little dog. When she destroys things I love, I always plead with
her to never do it again, lest I choke her, but she is a dog, and
doesn’t get it.

Then, my little sister called, asking if I got the big birthday cookie
she and my mom sent in lieu of a cake, which was supposed to arrive on
Thursday. Uh, no, I replied, thinking immediately that the cookie
factory should be burned down for not delivering my cookie. hahaha. I
just re-read that and that is completely insane.

But it would have made the difference in a very very uneventful and morbid birthday weekend.

Oh yes, another thought that sprung in my head today: I need to find a
good friend or two or ten to hang out with in this area. For some
reason, I keep getting stuck hanging out with people who drain my
pockets, then promise they will pay for my cab ride home, and then
magically, when the time comes for me to go home, I am stuck walking
the 20 blocks to the train. Now, this might seem completely weird for
me to get so angry about, but the last time I hung out with someone I
considered a sister to me, this is exactly what happened. And I, the
ever-breathing sucker, let her do that to me, not for the first time,
but definitely for the last time. I mean, would I have gone at all,
unless this was the case? Of course, if I had the money to spare. But
unfortunately, at that time, it wasn’t lying around, and for about,
let’s see, two weeks after that or so, I survived on pennies and dimes
lumped together to buy apples.

See, it’s a character issue. I have never screwed over my friends, or
lied to misrepresent the truth, but for some reason, these people I
pick up and label as friends are just that simple. I would do anything
and have gone completely out of my way to help people who I care for,
but when the tables are turned, they’re the little rats in the corner,
giggling and cowering in what should be humiliation, but is most likely
some trumped up-ego trip.

Ah, but that is okay, because karma does have a way of biting you and
poisoning you in ways you don’t expect. The snake bites the snake, you
know?