The incredible nature of being ensures the continuation of cycles. I
don’t think it’s random, in fact the people and things that come close
to you in times of need are necessary facets of realizing any kind of
reality. It’s kind of hard to explain, because it has nothing to do
with the idea of karmic fate, which I feel is complete randomness,
chaos and aside the point. But more so with the idea that what you seek,
and the energy that is important, is what you will get if the will is
strong enough to overcome the difficult nature of things.
I have been picturing and realizing somewhat of a fantastic kind of
life, the kind of life that your friends and enemies hate you for, and
not because they are jealous, but because they cannot comprehend the
incredible beauty behind your everyday reality.
Whether or not this is just a skeleton of the prettiest painting in my
head, or an actual model of something that can breathe life doesn’t
matter, because it was given birth to in concept in such a way that
makes it believable. Especially when you fall flat.
In other news, I haven’t been so ridiculous. I almost feel average having
to write down notes and addresses and have had to do things to make
everything smooth that seem somewhat anal and obsessive compulsive (in
the conclusion).
Someday, it can be simple.
October 12, 2004 at 9:53 am
You are not alone
In my more lucid periods of thought I get glimpses of a beauty that seems so simple when I “see” it; but is so difficult for me to “hold on to”. I’ve believed for quite awhile now that nothing is completely random (I think even chaos theory shows that even randomness has patterns). I believe this applies to all creation – from the very creation of this universe to the seemingly coincidental happenings in our lives.
Thank you soooo much Deana for giving such a clear voice to something that I have not been able to. This has been something that I’ve been struggling with recently; and now that another has similar (possibly clearer) views of our being, a small part of me (growing larger :^] ) sees more hope in life.
This has actually been part of what my struggle with God has been about. Your post has contributed to my changing view of God from the limited Judeo-Christian view of God, to a greater, infinitely more beautiful God. Again, it’s difficult for me to put into words what I mean; but the True God, I believe, has NOTHING to do with religion.
On kind of a tangent: I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF!!! ‘nough said :^D
Namasté
October 12, 2004 at 11:09 am
Re: You are not alone
Ahhhh,
I wonder if you got my book I reccommended yet. I guess I have always been able to see or suspect, or kind of feel the beauty that pervades. This can be as simple as the feeling you get when you walk down the street. And especially New York. I do find it comforting at times to just even look up. With so much in front of us as New Yorkers, (and I have lived there, yet slept in Jersey at most points in my life) I feel that the sheer masses of energy (in body and movement), make this place breathe in a way unlike other places I have been.
My chaos theory knowledge is a very special influence from someone I dated I still grow to respect to this day. A lovely astrophysicist who taught me that existence somehow favors chaos, and even in its inherent patterning, things and places in life that are uncomfortable are never permanent. And the energy patterns we exude, I have now realized, are more due to conscious choice to be a victim or a hero.
Yeah, my god has always in some ways been my own voice, my own choice, my own decision. Perhaps the greater applause should be given to our real creators, our mothers, who influence us both genetically and through moral conditioning.
I am glad you have found a good place in your learning. I like that. I like sitting in a place like that often.
And that is all I have to say on that.
October 15, 2004 at 9:57 pm
Re: You are not alone
I was finally able to get myself out today. Maybe it was the rain… I love riding my bike in the rain :^) Anyway, I went to NYPL to do some product research and decided to look up the book you suggested. I found the book and was able to skim through enough of it to get an idea about its basic premise.
The author’s theory about vibrations reminded me of a PBS special I saw about string theory. Basically, the theory says that everything is the way it is because of the different vibrations of these sub-atomic “strings” – like musical instruments. I’m guessing this book proposes these vibrations – as they manifest themselves in human beings – have influence in our personal and spiritual lives; and, I guess more importantly, can be controlled.
After going up to the B&N near me, I was disappointed to find that the book was out of stock. I’m sure that I’ll be able to find it at another store. I’m really interested in reading more of this book. Thanks again for the recommendation :^)
As for God, I tend to agree with you that we are our own saviors; but I can’t help but feel there is so much more to it than that… Along the lines of a very very personal God that is more within us than without us; more you and me than Him. Maybe it’s just me struggling with old ideas; but it just seems to me that any limit put on God can’t stick. I can’t help but see God as infinitely beautiful and complex; yet simple and very personal.
Thanks so much for sharing this interaction with me. It’s been very rewarding.