This song, dedicated to jizzefabel…aka jeffrey, in the early morning bullshit hours…or is it late? In any case, I have come to a few conclusions…one is, the end…the other is…the beginning…I guess we all untimately decide what hump train we wish to be on, but the thing about it is, it’s just not worth it..the decision making and what have you…I know I am better than dirt, but can you say the same?…yea, (sigh) that’s exactly what I thought…dreaming of babies lately, but I am unsure why, someone else’s….my bunny selenna’s perhaps…I am not sure..but in all efforts reduced to trying to figure out where I am supposed to be, I have come to this conclusion…._____________…..someone help me fill in the blank…

dead head, broken baby fingers, toes,
dead in heart, maybe the explanation lies not too far from
truths can be muttered in the backseat shuffling
I miss my sneak it out the window time
early summer, coming home with pasta-filled belly
grass in my hair
kisses fresh on my lips, if it were a good month
that is, peter gabriel and the cure still ringing in my ears
that’s the time, those days, when time stretched out for eons
now my mouth bleeds, my hair comes out in clumps, my head hurts,
and if I could wish for that innocence back, I would appreciate it, I would
I wouldn’t let me be this, this, this,
stump on a lump, maybe waiting for the good hump
not quite like that backseed truth-telling
in fact, far from that, yes far from that
I muse back, reeling in those leaves in my hair
reeling in the me that still dwells
cutting my skin open

cutting my skin open
laughing,
peeling off this stupid suit
crying over this death
and the tears, they run red
they run red like they always do

jizzefabel and deanna, and more jeff…boys look funny in make-up, don’t ya think? jeff is one of those boys that would look pretty wrapped in barbed wire and set on fire, so no, he’s not gay for all you he’s too whatever to be straight people….